The Rantings of a Mad Man

Laughter

2011-03-29T23:06:00.001-07:00

She was born with a gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad. And so, she remained silent. With the death of the world around her, nothing was left to laugh at. The faintest of whisper rang hollow in the broken world. None of it had meaning. Smoke smeared the sky of her mind. Death surrounded her, closing in one by one. What hope could remain where laughter did not sound? The unused gift left fallen. Forgotten. Nothing but shapeless grey surrounded. All became a blur. There was voices, but they did not mean anything. Slowly, even the voices faded. They had left. The smoke had left. The grey had left. There was less and less, until even the madness seemed to fade from thought or memory. All that was left was the feeling of loss. Where was the laughter? Where had she gone?

Small glint, then a glimmer. She was there. She was not alone. With them the madness returned. The smoke overtook the sky. The endless walls stretched to infinity. And she marched forth, laughing, such laughter as is haunting and terrible for a lifetime. It gloried in the madness, the destruction. And as death had been visited upon all before, she, in turn, visited death upon the reemerging world, followed by a cadre of reapers. Dreams died, and madness was brought to order, the order of death. And so it was, the laughter continued until the world stood barren under the brown sky.

She then gazed out over the land. Her eyes trained across the landscape searching and searching and searching. The laughter still ringing across the plain. There, her eyes turned even to the reapers that followed her. The scythe fell four times, counting their number. Without pausing a moment, her laughter then died from her own lips. Slumping to the parched and cracked earth, it was not warm and welcoming but cold and lifeless. And there laughter passed from the world once again and the world with it.

The End of All Things

2011-02-14T22:41:00.001-08:00

My head whirls as I stumble out the door, much heavier than it had been earlier. The words were still in my head. But they were lies. They are lies. Everything was always a lie, especially when it came from them. The drink never lied though. It only helped me forget for an hour or two the miserable existence I’ve been saddled with when I was born. Things would have been better if my grandparents hadn’t put so much pressure on my mother to keep me. What good is a life that ends like this.

Ugh, there it goes again. Certainly won’t do me any good thinking like that now at the end of all things. This wall is cold. The brick digs into my back like laying in gravel. I gaze across the street at the large building with banners and balloons and people milling about. Sheep to the slaughter. People are staring at me now. Perhaps they have never seen a drunken man laughing out loud at the hypocrisy of a morally bankrupt world before. It’s okay, I guess. They have decided what they deem best for themselves. That is all humanity can do. Too bad what they oft deem best is oft the worst. “I give you my sacred oath I will do my utmost to justify your faith.” It was certainly a very serious oath. Though there were enough loopholes there to make sure that I would not be one of the ones placing any faith in him.

The small flame erupting in front of my face and the burning in my throat slowly calms my nerves. My mind is all over the place as the dulling sensation covers my body and my muscles relax. My eyes glide over the blur of the crowd, some of which still gaze uncertainly at me as if I don’t belong. Maybe it’s true.

The grass raises beneath my feet. The strange trees and stone obelisks loom out of the dark. How did I even get here? Why am I here? The feel of the cold steel in my hand remind me. I fall against the rigid and uneven surface and slide down feeling the cool texture of the tree against my back. At least at the end of all things, I will decide my own end; I won’t let some politician decide for me.

The Swan Queen

2011-02-10T22:06:00.000-08:00

Can you feel your movements through the air? Let your arm glide as if floating. The soft pointed shuffle across the floor effortlessly transporting you across time and space. I can feel myself there. I am she. The water surrounds and embraces me, the faint ripples flowing across the surface. The stars array themselves above, points of desire each in a sea of emptiness. The moon, she caresses my cheek, and I let the gentle breeze push against me and guide me across the glass. The glow lights up my face, white as the light above, while all else about me embraces the darkness. That melody haunts me. It is the breath of the wind. It is the chiming of the light. This is the dance for the night. This is the dance for me. I felt it. I was perfect.

Stars

2011-01-30T23:27:00.000-08:00

Not many people know how they're going to die. Scratch that, I s'pose no one really knows. The most it comes around to is an educated guess, some more educated than others.

He contemplated these things to himself as the swing rose and fell, back and forth. The night air stung his face bringing him back to reality as his eyes tracked the stars that blurred across one way and then back again. No moon out tonight. Always made the best nights to be alone and contemplate things. They were nights to just watch the stars.

He dragged his feet through the sand, bringing himself to a halt as his eyes glazed over, still stuck to the points of light breaking up the black expanse above. He closed his suddenly, leaning back and allowing his other sensations to take over. The cool air washed over him as the hushed sounds of the night reached his ears. What was one supposed to do with the kind of knowledge that left life that much less ambiguous? He laughed at himself. "Knowledge is power." The clichè ran through his head. He could recall him and his friends in junior high making fun of the idea. "Knowledge is power, power corrupts, ergo schools were teaching the kids to become corrupt." It was about all the subtlety you could expect from a middle schooler.

He found himself walking back across the park, his eyes still glued to the sky. The one thing that had never changed about him since he was a kid. His eyes still strayed to the stars when he didn't know how to react to the world around him. Helped him to realize his importance in the grand scheme of things. It was something like that, at any rate.

I small chuckle elicited itself from him again. "Why worry about tomorrow? That was another day." The old idea brought back memories of youth, ignorance, and irresponsibility. How many times had he been lectured on the importance of being pro-active and getting work done. Somehow, none of those lectures had ever stuck with many a sigh and a shaking of heads by those more responsible. Well, maybe he always knew it would come to something like this. It would make an ironic justification, that in the end of things, that same mentality was actually a positive thing.

His eyes drifted to the sky again. Okay, he was definitely over thinking this. As the last of the thoughts died away, he fell back into the grass and just watched the stars as they floated across the sky.

Journey

2011-01-23T22:58:00.000-08:00

There is not much that won't pull one along deeper once the journey is set. The only remainder, to be seen, is whereto will one be borne by the racing ebb and flow of the river. Though darkness seem to press in on all sides, remember the warmth and the glow of the sun, and follow it. Follow it into the West.

Perseverence

2010-09-17T23:31:00.000-07:00

Have you ever read a story that ends up being much more than the story you expect? I suppose that is a story that I just read. It wasn't that I had expectations per say, more that any preconceived notions were nothing like what I ended up reading. Not that I ever have notions, preconceived or otherwise; I don't have a mind for anything you would call notions, maybe prejudices is a more accurate word. I think the question is a matter of motivation in the end. As he says, it's always a matter of who benefits most. I don't think that was something I considered, despite it being a very obvious concept. The funny part is, that the ending is the least important part of the story. It is the story of loss, loss of loved ones, loss of control, loss of faith, loss of innocence. In the end, what do you have left to hold onto? Maybe simply seeing what you want to see, hearing what you want to hear, and knowing only what you want to know is the only solution to keep on going.

The Question of the Grown Child

2010-08-23T11:10:00.000-07:00

I was very recently reading an interesting article (as in about an hour ago, also it's more of a blog post in itself)(also: source). It broached the idea of the "emerging adult" stage of life. This is a proposed new stage of life in the post-adolescent, pre-adulthood idea. It is an interesting supposition that has gained popularity in recent years. It is something that I feel explains my own thoughts and feelings as well. However, the question is whether this is legitimate or if it's, as I've suspected for many years, a chronic laziness and reliance on my parents who despite how hard they try can't seem to motivate my apathetic self. You see, since I am in college and see myself running the course to this transient life-style, I worry constantly about hitting that point and becoming a disappointment. I feel like this kind of theory acts more as an excuse than explanation. But the question is, is it?

I am no psychologist by any means or stretch. However, I read that article and Arnett's theory of the "emerging adult" and end up feeling that it is more a chronic problem of the affluent class of kids who are being raised with the expectation to have what their parents have, out of college, with no work. Usually ending to the idea that they just won't leave home, or that they will continue education or travel abroad with the financial assistance of their parents. The end goal being to put off "real life" as long as possible. I'll admit, it's a very alluring idea to me. However, that's what makes me think that it's more a issue of entitlement we have developed over time. Arnett tries to say that it isn't exclusive to the more upper middle class, by explaining an example of a lower class, projects born girl out to change her life in her early 20's. This story has a much different tone than the theory of the "emerging adult" that he's been explaining though. The chief problem with this example is that this girl is working full time to support her mother and siblings while taking classes to work towards her AA, then Bachelor's, then, hopefully, PhD. I am still baffled as to how this compares to his idea of this lost and philandering "emerging adult" idea he propositions in his writing. To me they seem incomporable. I know people like this. They are some of the hardest working people I know, and they have my utmost respect for it. They are going far beyond anything I think I am even capable of. Under said pressure, I would be more likely to fold than thrive. I simply do not have the drive.

I think that is the underscore of this post-adolescent idea. I think it's a slowing in the maturity process due to never having to have worked truely hard for anything we have wanted in life. This is not my parents fault. They tried, and they raised my sister as a hard working, dedicated girl. However, I do not have the drive, and I believe this is the common denominator between myself and other "directionless" kids out there. You see, that's how I define this. While talking to one of those "hardest working people I know" we discussed the process of growing up. My conclusion was that since time that she had moved out of her house at 18 and started supporting herself, she had been adult. While, me, a person without a direction as well as living and attending college with the financial assistance of my parents, was still a child (or adolescent, whichever). I feel like that is the distinction. It is not some new emerging stage of life; rather, it is the reluctance to grow up and holding onto the previous stage.

This is all after a single quick readthrough of the article and about an hours worth of reflection. It is possible that upon further reading and reflection that these thoughts may change, but this is my gut reaction. Feel free to share your thoughts on the article as well. I'd love to get other feedback on this "theory."

[Insert Clever Title Here]

2010-08-18T16:32:00.000-07:00

I know I've hardly been attentive here, only posting once recently in a fit of randomness and apparent mental issue, but I have things to talk about. Things already kind of talked about. Hopefully this will not be a rehash as much as an expansion on the topic. I would hate to bore my ten readers with a simple repost. I will attempt to do all this without rereading the original write up as well. Here goes nothing.

Scott Pilgrim. "Is he still talking about this?" Yes, I realized I wrote about the books about two months ago when I read the first five, but since then, there's been one more book, a movie, and a surprisingly fun video game. See, so much new material to cover. Or I could spend more time saying how I relate to Scott Pilgrim in good and bad ways and how I feel like he represents the collective psyche of this generation. Might I reiterate that I hardly think he's representative of everyone in the generation, just us stereotypes. Apparently, I am a stereotype. Not that I think the character is derivative. I said I was not going to do this. Moving on.

Having finished the final book a week or two ago when it came out, I had my moment of catharsis, greatly enjoying the resolution and the moment of growth. Very important kind of moment in a series like this with a main character like that that everyone seems to simultaneously despise and like despite...him being Scott? It was a fitting end, though at times I felt a bit rushed towards the penultimate moment. Yes, I mean penultimate. All in all, after my first read through, I was satisfied. There was satisfaction persey.

However, that was not the end of it. After that, there was a game! Which really has nothing to do with anything except having cool art, awesome music, and pretty fun gameplay. Ultimately, it is a Scott Pilgrim themed brawler that has no pertinent connection to the books. It's really fun though, and since I like Scott Pilgrim and video games and like this, I encourage people to play it, if they have access to it. Like I said, though, this really has nothing to do with everything else I am talking about and is more just a useless aside for my own self. Versus the self that belongs to others. That is all.

The last paragraph aside, you know there was books, they were awesome, many people enjoyed them. Now there is a movie, it is a pretty faithful, even if heavily edited, adaptation of the awesome story. Many people enjoyed it. Lots of famous people enjoyed it. I enjoyed it, despite me having a rather strong dislike for Michael Cera (he did good by Scott Pilgrim). However, despite all the enjoyment, it is not making money. This makes me sad. Partly because I like things I like to be successful, but also because if I want to see more quality movies based on awesome stories to be made, I need to see this succeed.

All that stuff about you needing to go see this movie aside, let us talk about the movie, and let us talk about today's reread marathon of the books (second read through was even better if that was even possible, I tend to miss things often, sometimes, just ask my roommate). The books are about Scott Pilgrim. Pretty obvious to anyone with a cursory knowledge of the English Language and graphic novels and who has heard of said books. Okay, mostly obvious. He is the lovable screwup. Hopefully in my comparison to Scott Pilgrim, people find me more lovable than the screwup. Love me. Anyways, it's about growing up, but it's also about a lot more than that. Accepting responsibility. So on. So forth. My mother would be proud. It is one of the things that really draws me into Scott's reality, even when they try hard to take me out of it (they don't really, but your first readthrough will probably jerk you around a bit the first time a super crazy fight breaks out). The movie, got this. Kind of. Mostly. Like I said, it was a pretty good adaptation. Visually on cue, and pulls frame by frame for the entirety of the first book. After that, things start getting compressed. The growing process gets shoved into a trimmed down two hour movie, and Scott does not seem to learn nearly as much by the end. But learn he does. And the general consesus seems to be "awesome movie, go see it" (people have been saying it since they started doing free showings a year ago, literally ---> reason #2 why it's not making money). I concur with that consesus, I just want to say that if there was ever a time to read the books before seeing a movie, it'd be now (you'll still enjoy the movie, I swear). The books just had the heart there that completely caught me. So read the books, you can borrow mine. Then go see the movie (pay for it yourself). Maybe you'll learn something. Or enjoy yourself. Or understand me a little better. Seriously.

One More Time

2010-08-06T21:45:00.001-07:00

I could lie and say this has been a busy summer, but my roommate reads this blog too. So, there are no excuses for my long absence. However, I will suffice by saying, this has been a busy week. Wedding's seem to be one of those all consuming things even if it isn't even yours yet you are close enough to it to become involved. Anyways, this post isn't about that. Isn't about chicken either, despite the fact that everything seems to taste like it. No, this post is because I'm tired, my head's spinning, and there's no alcohol in the immediate vicinity for me to consume. So, with Linkin Park playing in the background and my consciousness fading quickly, I write.

The voice is screaming. The quick glances around the bus make evident the feeling of discomfort that comes from the heart-rending scream. It tears through the air, seeming to claw at my ears, at myself, begging action from me. Anything. Still sitting. The glances subside as people settle on simply ignoring the scream. Or rather, pretending to. For as desperate and sincere as the scream is, no one could truly ignore, but they will try. They always do. Maybe I should do something? I am not bound to the inaction of others. I take a chance and let my eyes flicker around the bus, but I cannot find the source. The scream gets louder piercing deep inside me. I start to panic as I start to look around more for the source, finally dropping pretense and leaping up in the middle of the crowded bus. I need to help them. They need me. People turn away and look out their windows, pretending I haven't done anything. The screaming, the screaming, why are they screaming! Why are they screaming? Why am I screaming?

to think a thought that may or not be more than it appears

2010-06-08T20:56:00.001-07:00

Have you ever thought a thought

the world could pop,

and we'd all forget to be?

I hope that's not

for why we fought,

'cause what would all life mean?

Maybe the sun would rise,

we'd stop the lies,

and leave the night behind.

But what would make day,

if no night lead away,

to find the in between?

Tablet Practice (Possibly NSFW?)

2010-05-25T11:14:00.000-07:00

Been messing around with some tablet work again, since I'll be chained to the thing for thesis. Animating in flash will be interesting. Especially with no experience, but that's what I have friends for. Anyways, after a couple really crappy sketches, I reevaluated how my process works with the new tablet and Painter. I can't do my normal super sketchy, barely intelligible approach. It just doesn't translate. So I thought back to doing some figure drawing in Life Drawing class, and decided to use that as a starting point. So you can see the base in conte. I wish I had done this work in layers, but I wasn't really paying attention; so, I can't see the pencils alone. On top of the conte, I had to shoot for really controlled lines that I knew ahead of time instead of just sketching willy nilly. This was difficult and took a lot of undoes, but I think it turned out a decent product.

All that aside though, looking it as just an art piece it suffers from my normal proportional issues when I do this kind of stuff, especially when it is without reference (figure drawing without reference...yea, yea, yea, not really figure drawing, get over it). Neck is giraffe-like and the breasts are set super low. I have a tendency even when I'm doing proper figure drawing to elongate the female figure. Don't ask me why. I'm weird like that.

Level 80 Noob

2010-05-17T10:01:00.000-07:00

aedontor 9:56

“RedHawks catcher Jarrod Saltalamacchia would be back in the major leagues if he didn’t have a problem throwing the ball – not to an infielder, but back to his pitcher.

“In Salty’s last game, Tuesday night at AT&T Bricktown Ballpark, 12 of his throws back to the pitcher landed either short of the mound or in center field. He had five errant throws in the first inning alone.”

venerablemonster 9:56

hahahha

aedontor 9:58

it happens where guys get this mental hitch that complete messes up the simplest of throws and the more they try to get through it, they can't

venerablemonster 9:59

noob

aedontor 9:59

it happens to veterans too

venerablemonster 10:00

they prolly paid someone to level their character so now they don't know how to play it

The Time Where I Talked About Stuff

2010-05-09T20:51:00.000-07:00

I have been so distracted lately. I have not written at all. I usually at least manage to do some stream of consciousness stuff occasionally. I actually was doing that before my last couple posts. Not today though, we will see how it compares. My mind is so scattered right now, so I don't know if I will even get anything useable out of this post. Be that as it may, I got some things to talk about, and this is where I do such things.

I think I have done enough whining about Kesha for the day, so you will at least be spared that (and all the townsfolk rejoiced!). First thing's first. I think it may be a bit odd to proclaim you are notorious at something, but I think I would not be amiss to say that I am notorious at not keeping up or finishing things I start. Ask anyone who knows or has lived with me for a significant amount of time. I am all gung ho (where the hell does that exclamation come from?) about starting something new, but usually after a week I am out of the game. However, if you ask people who know me reasonably well, I believe they would also say that I am a notorious spender of money, even when I do not have it. Online shopping is the worst creation for me. I love/hate amazon as I do my credit card.

I have, however, come up with the perfect solution to both. This would be what my mother has dubbed "Wedding Crashers" or something to that effect. I am not talking about the movie with what's his name and what's his butt. No. I am talking about a competition between some family and friends to lose the most weight by July 4th (this being an attempt for most to get in shape and fit for my sister's wedding in August). I am not usually for such things and would have passed if not for the potential to take a pot of money. Lots of money. That is probably technically already spent by me.

And so it begins. My first serious attempt to drop weight. I had not worked out as hard as I did today since High School. So, the real experiment begins, will the enticement of money keep me working out and eating less/healthier? That is the notion.

But honestly, none of that stuff is the reason I logged on to post today. You knew it was too good to be true. "A two parter?!?" You ask your computer screen. "But why must I be tortured so?" Because I finished more reading recently that necessitates conversation with myself that you will read and find entertainment in. I just read the first five volumes of Scott Pilgrim, the sixth and final volume due to release in July. Some of you may recognize the name from the soon to be released movie, Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World that is based on the books. I won't give you my commentary on the movie trailer, that would be pointless (but seriously, Michael Cera? He has no business playing Scott).

The books detail the life, tragedies, and victories of Scott Pilgrim, a 23 year old then 24 year old guy; who, it's never quite apparent how he manages to get by in life. Anyways, you have probably heard enough to know he has got to beat the evil ex-boyfriends of his new flame. That's the surface, and actually to me, not the point or the best part of the books. How Scott manages all his different friendships, relationships, and life in general is. Makes me reflect on my own relationships and friendships. My life seems thoroughly unexciting in comparison, though I do not think I want even a quarter of the drama he manages to skate through. I would not be as lucky as he. Still, he's an odd character who is not always or often a good guy. He is more a hapless buffoon that glides by on luck. But he's endearingly so. It is his growth and him taking control of his life that is the really intriguing point and that makes me evaluate elements in my own life and decisions I make. How I should really be driving my life forward instead of just riding it, reacting to things as I always have. Will this be an immediate change? No way. But it at least implants the thought in my head.

This was not a review, and I tried to not put anything spoileriffic in here. I just wanted to talk about some things I was thinking about and why I was thinking about them. I definitely think you should read them. Feel free to borrow them from me. I dunno, it's weird to see similarities between one and a character especially when it is in his flaws. It certainly makes me feel a certain sympathy and kinship with a character. I honestly do not know if this will have any lasting repercussions for my life, but at the very least it made me think and reevaluate some things. Things that people have already had talks with me about. Whether that is my constant chasing of girls I hardly know then getting hurt, or my lack of self-conviction when it comes to buying things, eating food, or not exercising.

Meh, for now I will just keep listening to my music, chatting with my friends, and trying to embrace life. Also, figuring out whatever embracing life actually means. Which I suppose was the whole point of this post.

Critical Mass

2010-04-30T12:19:00.000-07:00

I hit that point. You all know what I'm talking about. Maybe you've been there too, or maybe you've just watch me slowly devolve into a puddle of flesh. However, you knew it was coming. The moment. The moment.

Maybe I should explain what the moment is. Generally speaking, most people probably are aware of the moment except maybe the people so sunk in their own hypocrisy that they are years from seeing any sort of genuine sincerity. I am talking about the moment where you go to lecture someone about something and realize that you are not only guilty but are the coverboy for said vice. Ah, sweet hypocrisy, your gentle vice, it comforts me. It guides me. No longer! At least in this one facet on this one day. I don't like to make big sweeping commitments, you know?

Today, or rather, last night, I thought and wrote with deep disdain for the people who spend all day indoors (or a significant part of it) on their computers, whether it's hooked to the umbilical chord of Facebook or resting comfortably in the tentacles of AOL instant messenger. As I wrote the damning words, it was as if a sheet was swept away from a mirror in front of me and I was confronted with the fact that I was writing about myself! GASP! The horror, the horror.... Though, to be honest, it was true. My pasty white complexion and conspicuous lack of muscle definition screams to the world that I am an indoors animal. I am not to be left outdoors unattended.

With this new revelation staring me in the face, I had to do something, and I had to do something then (that is, last night). Class was an hour away, what could I do? I started sinking back comfortably into my bed with a smile, another victory for my laziness. But wait! There was something I could do! I walked over to the sliding glass door that opens to our tiny porch and gazed down at my sad bicycle covered in spider webs, leaves, and dirt (no joking). Both the tires looking depressingly soft. It had been a new bike naught but 8 months ago. It had been my rebellion against laziness, my chance to drop some weight and be active. The original plan was to ride my bike to school everyday. I didn't even get a parking pass to force me to do it. Too bad there was always free parking on the streets by the film school.

The bicycle sat there with sad puppy dog eyes, waiting to be rescued. I could be its hero. All I had to do was unlock the bike lock. Several minutes of unlocking, cleaning, and air pumping later, I mounted upon my mighty steed and rode out the gates of my kingdom. I sat astride a magnificent creation of human ingenuity. I was on top of the world! The cool evening breeze in my face, I turned my bike to ride off into the sunset. I reached a dead end. I turned around and rode away from the sunset and off to class.

A new page, nay, a new chapter for my life began at the moment. And the good part is, the chapter continued at least through today. What wonders will next week hold? Only time can tell.

Addendum: If I do not live through the weekend, suspect the bicycle. It has already made two attempts on my life, throwing off its chain twice today while I crossed traffic. I will not let this deter me, I will be the master of my life...and my bicycle.

click to enlarge

The Rabbit Hole

2010-04-29T16:46:00.000-07:00

Curiosity can get to a person. I am sure most of you reading have at some point succumbed to curiosity over better judgement. Sometimes this is good, sometimes this is bad, sometimes you don't know what is going on around you anymore.

You all can see below that I read Kick-Ass, but that was not enough for me. Especially when I found the Wanted books for free legal viewing. Quite a mistake. I think. Regardless, let us just say I succumbed to curiosity and began to read. Of course, I had seen the movie. It had been simple and straightforward enough. Sure it was a bit over the top with the occasional "mature" moment, but in reading the book, I found those to be pittance.

This was even a wholly different experience from the previous Millar reading. At least then, the characters were "heroes" (if that doesn't stretch the definition too far). Wanted introduces a new kind of "hero" or anti-hero or whatever term you can think up that really has no application here whatsoever. It really has a sociopath whose only purpose is to shock you out of the complacency in your own menial life.

How do they do this? They present you with every over the top, disgusting, revolting, shocking situation they can manage, and then they do it again while joking about it. If I was feeling empty before, I am feeling soulless now.

I think I see what Millar intended in this story. Like I said, it was meant to shock the reader in how they view their daily life by confronting them with the extreme. Well, it worked. But I certainly do not know what one is supposed to think after being clubbed over the head by such a gritty, visceral experience. Any empathy you think you see in any character is a lie. There is no redemption. There is only pushing the line.

The movie was a fun action flick with a guy who thought he was actually doing some good in the world. They were assassins not super villains, and they were supposedly killing "evil people." Well, I certainly understand why the entire story had to be rewritten from the ground up for a film that was going to be released to the public. Even then some people could not stomach it.

Well, after stomaching quite a few system shocks, I am not sure that was necessarily a good thing. Or a bad thing. I am all kinds of confused like before. However, I do know that, regardless of my existent or non-existent regrets, that I can still distinguish right and wrong and that, for now, my curiosity is more than taken care of.

Books and Movies

2010-04-27T16:22:00.000-07:00

How many times have you heard or uttered the sentiment that the book is better than the movie? My guess is the majority of you have at the very least thought it if not had it exchanged in conversation.

Well, I just finished reading the first trade of Kick-Ass. If you scroll a couple posts down, you will see my greatly enjoying the film and actually being filled with a mysterious optimism because of it. This is not the book. The book itself was good as well. I think. I am not quite sure about that. I read it. It was an experience. I am pretty sure I do not regret said experience.

There have been a few interviews that said due to the production schedule on the comic and film that there were some divergences due to changes as well as the obvious editing necessary to make this film palatable by any sort of audience. This means sugar coat it. Seriously, the movie is a warm and endearing family experience compared to this book (I actually kinda thought this before reading the book as well, but I am not sure anyone else would have agreed with me). Anything slightly uplifting in the film is basically null in the book replaced with not a grittiness or even a darkness just an emotional beating. Not even how you would expect either. The book was too short for me to become emotionally invested in anyone except maybe the main character. This meant that whatever happened to anyone else was more or less whatever. The emotional beating more or less came in the form of what I could only conceive as a purposeful retention of any sort of happy or uplifting emotion. Even the one redeeming quality at the end meant nothing to my empty husk of a self at the end of the reading.

The quick read sucker-punched me, someone expecting a fairly parallel read to the film, cut me open, and spit in my wound. All the while aware that I would not notice anything after that first punch. This reading was certainly an experience, but it ultimately left me feeling bitter, empty, soulless, something. I am not quite sure. Maybe I will post again when I figure it out, or I manage to find my humanity again.

I am not sure this is a case where I would recommend reading the book. I am not sure this is a case where I would recommend not reading the book. I would say see the movie. The rest? I dunno, decide for yourself, I can't decide anything at the moment.

My New Avatar

2010-04-19T20:30:00.000-07:00

I wanted something new and emblematic of my online persona. So I created this shiny new avatar. Thought I'd share the full size one versus the shrunken blogger upload. Just a quick throw together in illustrator in 10 minutes using the unwieldy drag pad and the pen tool. I still kinda like the simplicity of it.

Ass Kick'd

2010-04-16T02:36:00.000-07:00

So, I rolled on over to the movie theater this evening to catch the midnight showing of Kick Ass. I had not caught a movie at a theater let alone a midnight showing in quite awhile. This was a spur of the moment decision this morning in class. I should trust these gut feelings more often.

I was not only entertained, but the film instilled in me a feeling of boundless optimism. What the hell is up with all the sunshine and daisies? Someone spiked the punch.

Seriously though, I laughed, I cried, I cringed. I cringed again. I even shuddered once or twice. Over the top ridiculous violence is par for the course in this film adaptation of Millar and JRJR's work. I mean, Millar wrote Wanted as well, I was not surprised by anything.

I take that back. I was surprised. I have not read this book before so went in with the only expectations being what I had seen in trailers and the expectation that sets up. There ended up being a lot more to it. Yet at the same time, not at all. I found myself relating to the main character more than I cared for, but this is most likely because he ends up acting as more of a passive observer for the viewer to channel him/herself through. Not to say he was useless, he is the title character.

This is definitely a film that did not try to take itself seriously, fully aware of what it is about. It just starts, spins a great ride, and then stops to let you off at the end. I was not disappointed in the least, though I would hazard a guess this movie would not be for everyone. However, my buddy did bring his girlfriend who seemed to enjoy it, pointing out that her future daughter would be just like Hit Girl. I have very mixed feelings about that. Honestly, she pulled off the Natalie Portman in The Professional creepiness with a comedic/cute spin, wtf? Also, Nick Cage managed to do a performance that I enjoyed him in instead of just sitting and grinding my teeth as I am prone to do on occasion. I even let the toupee pass, though that has more to do with that ridiculously awesome mustache he has got goin' on. Seriously, creepy guys with coke bottle glasses everywhere are envious.

As for this optimism and bright outlook? Heck if I know. I just can not help but smile and skip a bit down the sidewalk after that movie. There is even some music and birds flying around in my head. In the end, if you got time and a couple bucks and are vaguely curious about this film, check it, I almost guarantee you will not regret it. Maybe. Ya know, no money back.

Solitude

2010-04-14T22:42:00.000-07:00

There was a man who lived on a house, on a hill,

and everyday that man who lived in the house, on the hill,

walked outside and gazed down at the houses, in the valley.

"Why, oh why, how I do hate those houses in the valley,

those people in those houses, down in the valley.

And how I despise this house on this hill that is empty."

So, the man sat on his chair, on his porch, at his house, on the hill,

and grumbled about the world below and his world above.

If only they would visit him, he was sure everything would be better.

But how would people visit someone no one knew existed?

It was the emptiness that he wished to solve,

but he could not move himself to leave his house on his hill.

"I cannot leave the hill, for the houses in the valley

were surely overwhelm me."

So, the man sat on his chair, on his porch, at his house, on the hill,

and wished for just one person from the world below to visit his world above.

But they never did, and the man went on hating his empty world above

and the crowded world below.

Many years passed as the porch began to sag under the weight of rot,

as did the man who everyday walked out outside to look at the valley below.

"My life has almost been spent, and what do I have to show?

The valley is still writhing and brimming with lives below while my hill stands empty and desolate."

Then, with a sigh, the man sat in his chair, on his porch, at his house, on the hill,

closed his eyes where valley and hill disappeared,

and dreamt of lost dreams of a beautiful, smiling woman and laughing children

as everything faded away.

Nom Nom

2010-04-13T08:43:00.000-07:00

Video killed the outdoors.

I'm Sick and Tired of All the Whining (A Very Whiney Post by Yours Truly)

2010-03-09T18:01:00.000-08:00

I drove out to Gamestop several times last night, the last time being around 11:20pm to pick up my copy of Final Fantasy XIII. Despite all the drama surrounding this game, I found myself excited. I was sure it would not be a perfect game, there's no such thing, but I felt that I would find an all-round fun experience. Five and a half hours later, a quick four hour nap, and another four hours of gameplay later, I think I am rather enjoying myself, but throughout the whole process leading up to Final Fantasy XIII's release, there's been a group of people I have not enjoyed. Those people are the naysayers, praising fanboys, and the generally whiney people that have been polluting the web over the last few months since the games release in Japan to last night.

These are people who (for the majority) have had no more exposure to this game than a couple reviews on the Japanese release and a couple videos. These people run the gamut from giving it an automatic 10/10 to condemning it right off the bat. Some people, who have actually played it get so wrapped up in this unbridled and seemingly unwarranted hatred that they are quick to dismiss anything and everything in the game as utter garbage. Obviously Final Fantasy is a title that evokes many strong opinions built up overtime by the prestige and legacy of a gaming franchise that introduced and made popular JRPG's in America, not to mention its own fanatical base in its homeland. Because of this history, expectations are understandably high, but I draw the line at people having opinions on a game that has not even come out yet. Even now, more heated discussion permeates the web, and the game has only been available to the American public since 12:01am this morning. And I realize that you may have a lot of love for the history of this franchise, and you may not like the new direction of certain elements, but so far, I have played a solid game with an interesting introduction and style of gameplay. It is new, it is fresh, it is not the same game you have played before, are you really going to sit and hate it for that?

Video games exist to entertain us. I have so far thus been entertained. Stunning visuals, familiar character archetypes, and overall fun gameplay have keep me entertained since midnight. It may not be the "OMG BEST GAME EVARRR!!11!1!!!" but it is also not "GAH DISPICABLE PIECE OF CRAP, SQUENIX====FFCASHCOW!!1!!!" I apologize for that assault on your eyes. I just get tired when people get so wrapped up in themselves that they do not give a game a chance or give it too much credit. Approach the game with fresh eyes, sit down, engross yourself in it, have fun, be entertained. Get off your high horse, and enjoy life a little bit.

Sincerely,

A Year in Less than 12 Hours

2010-02-22T12:20:00.000-08:00

I recently completed another video game that has been sitting on my shelf awhile. The game originally came out during the holiday season of 2008 and was picked up for me by a friend. I had a lot of fun with it for about a month of occasional play and then it sat there until I picked it up and finished it this last weekend.

Prince of Persia was a beautiful game, one of the few fully supported HD PS3 games. It had a beautiful painted cell shade style that gave it a very unique and beautiful look. The gameplay itself was simple, but it was fun in its simplicity. It benefitted from not being aggravatingly difficult while still supplying an enjoyable experience. However, I have rather large complaint. The ending.

The ending was fine in itself. It certainly sets itself up for a sequel (a sequel that is no longer coming?). What we got a while after release was a downloadable epilogue with about 2-3 hours of gameplay. Upon finishing the game this last weekend, I eagerly jumped onto the online store to checkout the epilogue that would essentially be my only source of closure on the game that had just thrown me a curve ball. I was astounded to see a ten dollar price tag attached. Ten dollars for an ending to a game I (or in this case, a friend) had already spent sixty dollars on. Really? Really? Yes, really, apparently.

Well, I thought to myself, maybe it's got a lot of content for the buck, so I stepped into the internet for a quick check on reviews. Every single one said it was not worth the ten dollar price tag. Every. Single. One. Wow. Its "over 3 hours of additional gameplay" was often quoted at closer to two. While it provided more of a traditional "Prince of Persia challenge," it failed to introduce any new bosses, instead borrowing from the original game by introducing a "shapeshifting" boss who simply took the form of two already defeated bosses. Really?

What really makes me angry here is that epilogue is most likely the only closure on the game you are going to get, and I even read that that closure is minimal. So, I am not even getting a real "epilogue" for the story I enjoyed in the main game. They tried to trick me into getting an ending for a game I enjoyed by not putting it in the main game, then charging a large amount of money for an epilogue, knowing we would buy it because it is all we are going to get. Guess what? That is not "Downloadable Content," that is greed and theft. Well, guess what, I refuse to buy your pseudo-"ending." In fact, I will probably refuse to buy anymore of your games, seeing as how you do business.

Oh by the way, if you doubt that this was the intention of the developer, they just announced that with their major IP's (like Assassin's Creed) they will be releasing a new game in each of their franchises every year. Yea. I am done with them. Way to turn an enjoyable gaming experience to complete frustration.

Choose

2010-02-18T14:19:00.001-08:00

I do not normally really get into a video game. However, in completing Dragon Age, a game where I could really play a character that is myself, I felt my immersed throughout. I felt the weight of choices and the things I said. I felt the weight of consequence.

From beginning to end, I tried to make decisions and say things that were true to myself. From sarcastically joking with a friend and dropping cheesy pick-up lines to important choices of discipline and honor. However, when I reached the final choice of the game, I went against my initial impulse which completely drew me out of the game. This bothered me to such an extent that I had trouble sleeping that night. Legitimately. It sounds ridiculous, I know, but this was more than the typical gaming diversion for me, and the choice I had made troubled me.

It was only when I went back and replayed the final boss of the game and remade that decision that I was actually able to relax in quiet contemplation and contentment. I had stayed true to myself. This supposed inane diversion (video games), had actually made me reflect on how important it is to stay true to myself and my convictions and personality. In life, there is no save file that I can reload and remake the decisions that will haunt me. The best I can do is to stay true to myself so that at the very least, I can always hold onto that.

This was probably one of my favorite games ever, not necessarily for the story and gameplay (which were all great), but because of the way it involved me and made me feel for the characters. The way it managed to teach me something in the process, to give more meaning to the approximately 55 hours I spent playing it.

There and Back Again

2010-01-28T10:24:00.000-08:00

So, I believe it would be obvious to everyone at this point that the internet I had been borrowing from my neighbor in Venice was sketchy at best. In result of that, having to purchase internet at an internet cafe led to less time online leading to less posts on here. I'm sure you are heartbroken.

This will not be a world-wind adventure summary of my trips. Maybe I will post the e-mails I had been sending home during my trip later. This is my impressions being home. It is an odd experience spending three weeks abroad then coming home. Certainly it is not as long as three months. However, it is long enough to begin to really adjust to a new lifestyle, only to be torn back to your old one which begins to feel like the foreign one.

I was beginning to feel incredibly shut in yesterday after half a day indoors. I ended up going for a three hour walk around Moorpark (not that big of a place). It was so sunny and warm, colorful, and open. There were endless cars and few people that I saw on my walk. It all seemed so foreign to me. There were no bridges and canals. Way too much english as well. I was completely thrown out of my element. Though, it was better than the feeling of all around laziness that was beginning to grip me. I needed to walk.

I really do not know how I am going to handle being back as it slowly sinks in over the next few days that I am really here to stay. The upside so far is seeing the people I missed and the Mexican food. Italian food is great, but it gets old after awhile.

I just do not know. I have a lost feeling with so much open space. It is all familiar yet so foreign.

Venice Report #1

2010-01-04T07:14:00.000-08:00

Hey kids, so I'm finally settled in my apartment with some kindly loaned wireless internet. I figured this would be a nice opportunity to do a quick update (more pictures will go to facebook I think, unless you'd like to see photos here).

The day (or whatever it was) of travelling was exhausting to say the least and slightly sad. The case with my power adapter and dvd drive for my laptop disappeared on my flight to Amsterdam. I'm still working on contacting the kind airline people, woo. After that, we hopped on a short flight to Venice (it felt like a constant earthquake with more turbulence than I've ever experienced on a flight). We had a nice hotel stay for the first two nights.

The first day was sunny, today it has been snowing. I've never been outside to experience the actual act of snowing before being in Venice, wasn't a bad first experience. You might think it's been cold, but I've been warm enough, though my compatriots (Colin and Jenna) have suffered through the cold much more.

Aside from the weather, we've had a little high water mainly constrained to just Piazza de San Marco and a couple other small sections. Despite assurances, I have yet to even see a single men's rainboot for sail. I think I'll just make do, haha.

As for what I've done so far, the day after we got here (having gotten here in the evening after 23 hours of travelling) we decided to ramble on through the city without any itinerary. It was nice. We wandered across the Great Canal along the Rialto. Cappuccino and panini's have been staples of our diet hence far during the morning and afternoons. I've also had some great dinner's of pizza, pasta, wine, and other delicious things they serve here for sustenance.

The apartment we're staying in now (the four guys) is a bit rundown but it has some beautiful marble work since it used to be a count's house I guess. Cool stuff. I'll probably try to post pictures of our apartment soon, it's odd. Anyways, thanks for reading, and I hope everything is alright for you.

Merry Christmas

2009-12-24T23:49:00.000-08:00

I love every last one of you classy kids.

The End of the Beginning

2009-12-13T16:07:00.000-08:00

I have owned the first three books for about a year now. After the constant recommendations and words of friends, I had to at least buy them for the sake of potential reading one day. However, that day kept getting postponed. I have not been in the mood for reading something new for quite a long time. Outside of school reading and a Harry Potter re-read over the summer, I cannot remember the last book that I read.

Well, now I do. I feel like I have been reading the first book of the series since at least the beginning of October; though, I do not know rightfully how long it has been. My reading skills are out of practice. The book itself is not something that is difficult to read as a work of literature. Its story is not incredibly deeply woven, at least not in this story. I was apt to blame the characters most often for my neglecting to read. The characters, mainly the women but also the men (barring two, maybe three, characters who were and are still my favorites), annoyed me. I came to fear some characters having dialogue simply because I knew what they would say and that it would annoy me like nails on a chalkboard. Thankfully, the writer either wrote in significant character development or I just got over this dislike. I am inclined to believe the former, but given I did not read much in the way of development but rather read sudden changes to characters, I cannot vouch for it.

The Eye of the World. It was a title meaningless to me without context. It was still pretty meaningless to me half-way through the book. Its significance is only learned within the final chapters of the book. Sometimes I wish it had come sooner. I find it odd that I journeyed so far to only find the end of the book to be the end of a prologue to a book. As if now I can read the next book for the introduction and then the first chapter.

I hope my words so far have not made you think less of the book if you have not read it. I think, if this sort of thing interests you, that you should read it. Though fair warning of it being a rather long series is in order, and I can only vouch for the first book. I have been given a variety of warnings about moments later on in the series. Anyways, I digress. I think it funny that the characters I enjoyed from their introduction to the end of the book were characters that did not really change. Lan and Loial were characters that interested me (ironic because I also identified them as two of the nods to Lord of the Rings, there are plenty of course). While you learn much more about some of these characters throughout the book, they themselves do not change. As for characters that did undergo growth was Perrin whom, at the height of becoming very interesting, is shunted to the side for the sake of the main character to finally do something besides follow people around. Sad but necessary. As for the main character, he did not become tolerable to me until the final chapters of the book and the revelation of the Eye. Before then there could have not been a thicker skull in the group than perhaps his mischievous friend. Honestly, I knew the characters' destiny from the first chapter and he did not know it until the final two pages. No one is that big of an idiot.

However, I feel now with the end of that book that there is a weight off my shoulders. Each character knows the beginning of the path while there are shadows what they will become. It is enough, in fact more than, to get me to open the second book, and perhaps even the twelfth (or fourteenth once the final tomes are released). It will be a journey, and in this prologue they have peaked my curiosity to see what will become of their stories. All of them.

"And it came to pass in those days, as it had come before and would come again, that the Dark lay heavy on the land and weighed down the hearts of men, and the green things failed, and hope died. And men cried out to the Creator, saying, O Light of the Heavens, Light of the World, let the Promised One be born of the mountain, according the prophecies, as he was in ages past and will be in ages to come. let the Prince of the Morning sing to the land that green things will grow and the valleys give forth lambs. Let the arm of the Lord of the Dawn shelter from the Dark, and the great sword of justice defend us. Let the Dragon ride again on the winds of time.

(from Charal Drianaan te Calamon,

The Cycle of the Dragon.

Author unknown, the Fourth Age)"

-excerpt from The Eye of the World by Robert Jordan

Bluegrass

2009-11-29T16:51:00.001-08:00

So given that I have a rather limited musical spectrum that I generally expose myself to, I am making an effort to stretch beyond my current horizon to see what I am missing out on. I like to say that I have a very open taste in music that I claim usually only excludes country and rap (cliche, I know, but moving on...). Well, I realized that despite saying that my taste in music is eclectic...it really is not. It is mostly made up of whatever KROQ is playing recently. That or some 90's music I am a decade late on. Or Taylor Swift as you were recently enlightened about.

Anyways, the point is that I want to listen to some completely different new music. I am currently listening to a great bluegrass band that I saw recommended called The Fox Hunt. I recommend them. Also, I learned something new, I actually like (at least this particular example of) bluegrass music. Pretty cool stuff.

Moving along, basically the point of this post is to get some musical recommendations of groups with very different kinds of sounds. Here is your chance to change the kind of music I make you listen to while in my car, so use this opportunity to your benefit. So, give it a whirl and try and get me some culture.

And So It Begins...

2009-11-02T16:35:00.000-08:00

That's right folks. I am doing something awesome this month. And no it's not no-shave-November...though it may turn into that as well. I am doing National Novel Writing Month (http://www.nanowrimo.org). A most auspicious month event. I had heard of this in the past but had never had a chance to participate. Well, I am happy to say, with hopefully a few belligerently bothersome people to keep me going, I am participating this month. It technically started yesterday, so I had a fun day of catch up logging just over 3k words in 3ish hours. Now, I need to do homework. This will definitely be a very delicate dance of assignments and writing over the next month. However, let the adventure begin!

The tale of "Pirates and Ninjas: A Love Story" will yet see the light of day!

Update: Track my progress!!

Don't Patronize Me

2009-10-28T16:10:00.000-07:00

First off, I apologize for my absence from this page. No doubt many of you have felt the sting of my absence, checking daily in vain for more posting. Well, wait no more! Before I delve into the main topic though, I wanted to do some shameless promotion for the gaming blog I have been cheating on you with. Below are links to two articles that I enjoyed writing in particular. They also got a particularly strong response:

"Why I Play, Don't Play, and Am Generally a Quitter"
"It's Not a Console War, Let Me Explain:"

With all that aside, let us delve on to the subject at hand. The one that bothers me the most of recent times. Women. Oh, lost half of you already? Oh well, I continue nonetheless. I like women. They are physically attractive, amusing (on occasion), intelligent (at times), not annoying (every once in awhile), but they love to patronize. Not all of them do, of course, but I have had issues of late.

You see, I think to myself, "hey, I like that girl. I think it'd be swell if we could hang out and I could see if I enjoy more than just her attractive appearance." So, I ask her to hang out. She maintains a level of enthusiasm, saying she'd love to hang out, but she is just so busy right now. Hopefully, soon she'll be free. That's great. I can roll with that. However, it happens again. I have waited about a week; so, I try again. Same response. I grow a little weary, but I roll with it. However, with this weariness is planted a seed of doubt. Is she just being nice? Patronizing me so I don't feel embarrassed?

You know, I'm a big boy. I've had my share of rejection. I can handle it, but it seems my life is beginning to trend in this new direction. So, I back off, just talk to the girl on occasion. If she's interested, she'll approach me about hanging out when she has time. Weeks go by. Well, I could have saved a lot of wasted time if she was just up front about it. I then begin talking with another female friend. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Why can't they just be honest and up front instead of being "nice" and patronizing. It does nobody any favors. I don't want to be the annoying guy who keeps harassing you. I don't want to be the running joke with you and your friends. So, give me a hint, and I'll leave you alone. If you don't, I can be quite persistent.

Warning: Reader Abuse Below

2009-10-05T17:13:00.000-07:00

It was a busy weekend. This is a good thing. That is to say, it was an improvement from my previous state of being. I got out of the apartment a bit and had some fun. I saw Star Wars in Concert, saw Zombieland, hung out with friends. These are all good things, and they prevent me from crossing over into the precarious zone of becoming a hermit.

Ergo, I ventured forth in order to be more socially well-adjusted. Now, having just previously stated what I did this weekend, some readers may find my thoughts on "socially well-adjusted" to be slightly off. I was outside my place of living. Leave me alone.

The main character of Zombieland expands upon his pre-zombieland lifestyle several times and it made me flinch and examine my own isolated existence often in response. For instance he remarks about how he spent most of his existence treating people like they were zombies and that now that they were zombies, he kind of missed them. That was one that struck me. Now, I know most viewers of the movie see it all as over the top zombie comedy, and it is. It is a great laugh and one of the best movies I have seen in awhile. However, they were points that I received through comedic hyperbole nonetheless.

This movie, which was one of the most entertaining/humorous films I had seen in awhile, led me to some semi-deep reflection at times. I think this says something more for the film or maybe less for me. Don't know. Don't care.

The film was a consistently funny go on the zombie genre, keeping from falling back on the stale and overdone plot points seen in other zombie flicks (and comedic zombie flicks). I know many would be quick to compare it to the only other easy comparison, which is Shaun of the Dead. I believe this does both movies a disservice since they are both two very different films, only comparable in being zombie comedies. Especially, seeing as Shaun of the Dead is made as more of a romantic comedy crossed with zombies that is also a commentary on British pub culture while Zombieland is more of a funny go at the zombie genre in general, taking some of the stereotypes and its own stylization to make an incredibly entertaining movie. It is also aided by a great cast of people I was not really aware of before this movie (Emma Stone being the one exception from her role in Superbad).

Ramblerambleramble. My apologies. I went from self-reflective post to pseudo-review of Zombieland to...I don't know. That is the nature of rambling, and something I am prone to do at times on this blog. In fact, that is something I should probably work on fixing. I will have to go back and edit that transition between my self-reflective-ness and movie review before I post this. I mean, like, it's totally weird and hard to understand...oh. Oh dear. I'm thinking it's time for me to run. My blog is quickly devolving into contractions and valley girl talk. Do not judge me!

In summary, I abuse the internet too often with the drivel I post on this blog. However, if you take anything away from this reading, besides my abysmal writing, know that Zombieland is a good movie and that you should invite me out to do stuff because I am a hermit...like Obi-Wan Kenobi. And with that third abuse of the ellipsis, I will take my leave of you. Stay classy, kids.

Star Wars in Concert

2009-10-02T22:25:00.000-07:00

Amazing. Fantastic. A finely crafted show to share some of the greatest film music ever composed along with well assembled footage and narrated in person by Anthony Daniels, the soul of C3P0.

Hearing that music live for the first time, shown in sync with carefully chosen footage accompanied by lights, lasers, fire, and more, this show was almost more than I could handle. But I did handle it, and it was amazing. Legitimately. Truthfully. Scout's honor (I was never a boy scout).

If you get the chance to see this, do not pass it up. The music was performed excellently by an excellently assembled orchestra. I heard the music in such clarity and detail that I had never experienced or heard before. I felt like I was experiencing Star Wars all over again, from beginning to end like I was a young kid again.

Words really fail me. This was an experience that will stick with me for a long time.

School Work

2009-09-29T13:29:00.000-07:00

click to enlarge for detail

For my Digital Illustration class. The original sketch was a quick 5 minute drawing in charcoal that I did up for a character design project. The introduction of the ivy and forest-y background was at the request of my professor, dunno how I feel about the leaves on her arms. Hm.

Mr. Sunshine

2009-09-08T23:07:00.000-07:00

A flash of his smile and a wink of his eye and everyone can't help but love the guy. It's not a phony expression set up to fool or seduce. It's the genuine article. A constant happiness and contentment pulses off the man like a ray of sunshine warming your whole body, becoming infectious in his passing. With a single word your mind clears and sees the answers to your unanswered questions. The answers you now know are useless as was your stress over them. The world simplifies, and soon you find yourself walking down the street with a grin on your face, greeting perfect strangers. Strangers who, startled at first, slowly smile in return.

Growing Up

2009-08-31T21:06:00.000-07:00

It's kind of odd, but I guess it's also the way of life. I've had this fear of late, a fear of growing up. I hear about people going through this. It's called turning thirty, or later on, a mid-life crisis. I'm only twenty, almost twenty-one. Most would agree that it's hardly a qualification for senior citizenship, and in fact, most look forward to it, as that perfect age, balancing youth and maturity and the right to booze up a bit. Yet, I look at it and I'm frightened about who I'm going to be. I'm beginning my third year of college right now and I feel like it's not ok for me to do certain things or like certain things anymore.

For instance, Star Wars was a huge part of my childhood. It was most of my childhood. I loved it. Watched it ceaselessly. Ask my mom; I have VHS copies at home that don't run properly since the tape has been worn through from continuous viewing. But, being asked what my favorite movie is now, whether if it's when I'm at the film school or talking with a friend or family member, I'll brush it off saying something like, "when I was a kid, I liked Star Wars like any other nerd, but I really like 'Apocalypse Now' actually now." It's as if I'm ashamed, and I feel like I need to make excuses and not be upfront about who I am, or what I actually like. You know what? I love Star Wars. The whole original trilogy. I love jawas, ewoks, stormtroopers, and wookies. I still want to get myself a suit of stormtrooper armor and join the 501st Legion. You want to know something about me? My senior year of high school, I attended Celebration IV, the convention in LA that celebrated the 30th anniversary of the original film release. I got the full 4-day pass, and had special access because of my fan club membership. A membership/magazine subscription I still receive to this date.

I recently saw the movie, "Fanboys." Given the crowd that reads this blog, you've probably heard of it, if not, look it up. It's about a bunch of guys, a couple years out of high school who decide to break into Skywalker Ranch to steal a copy of Episode One before release. One of the guys has to deal with "growing up and being responsible" or to pursue his dreams and an adventure with his best friends. As he realizes, and as I've realized, it's not avoiding responsibility and maturity to be true to yourself and your own dreams, passions, and childhood fantasies.

I'm a digital arts major who's given up on his pursuit of being a CG animator. I'm a history minor, I enjoy it, but teaching and history was always my fall-back. My passion was to make the fantasy a reality for those few short hours someone is sitting in a movie theater. I want to create something that inspires people just as I was inspired as a kid. Whatever my passion is, whether it's animating or becoming a comic-artist, I'm going to work towards it, and not give up hope on my skill or realistic ideas of what I'm supposed to do with my life.

So, as I sit writing this, drinking my large bottle of Martinelli's, watching Star Wars (Episode IV A New Hope for the youngin's out there), I'm going to hold you to hit me over the head the next time I say my favorite movie is "Apocalypse Now" or "I don't think I'm a good enough digital artists to do anything." Because you know what? I don't care, I'm not staying on the farm for another season. Meet you at the Rebellion.

Adaptation

2009-07-16T18:02:00.000-07:00

This specific post has now started and stopped on three different occasions. Starting with a general view, then switching to a more specific topic, and now widening back out to a more plain expression of my views. The other night, I watched Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. Before seeing the movie, it was still in the 90%'s on Rotten Tomatoes (it currently sits at 87%). That is, for those who do not know, a rather good rating for Rotten Tomatoes, giving, at the time, Star Trek a run for its money. I must say, despite my greatest efforts, I allowed my hopes and expectations to rise slightly for this film. A film that I originally expected to provide a low level of entertaining amusement as the rest of the films had, nothing like what the source material provides for me. So, now you have heard of my first mistake. My second was perhaps a more serious error. I read the source material a week before the movie came out. I had not necessarily planned this. In fact, I did not think I would even be close to beginning that specific book when July 15th rolled around. The way Harry Potter has a knack for sucking me in made up for that, meaning I read Half Blood prince in shorter than a 24 hour period (about 8 hours total spent reading).

Some of you might not see the harm in reading the book a movie is based on before seeing it (this was my fourth read through of that specific book). However, for me, I am something of a purist. I do not enjoy, as others do, seeing a book visualized on screen. It ruins my own conceptions, and ultimately always leads to disappointment...always. Well, I did not let it dissuade me this time and just barreled on through. I have not touched the series since the release of the seventh book two years ago (Ironically my last read through was almost exactly two years ago, Deathly Hallows having come out on this coming Saturday two years ago). This read through, actually, was not inspired by the newest movie release. It came upon me randomly around the beginning of June to pick up the first book again, sufficient time having passed since my last sojourn (there have been various journeys through the series for me, the first book having been read a total of twelve times now). I am not saying this in bragging or shame, simply to elaborate upon the emotional connection I have to the books so that you understand me a little better when I talk further about the film.

Ah yes. The film. At first, as the credits rolled, I did not know how I felt. As I said, the rest of the movies had held a shallow source of entertainment that had always kept me content (for I never had expectations of anything better, and I had felt, if nothing else, it had retained some matter of the spirit of the book). That is, in essence, what I wanted. A movie that captured, at least vaguely, the heart of the book. Upon reflection over the next couple of days, I found myself deeply disappointed with the latest movie. Not even just disappointment, but also dislike. They had done a disservice to the series with it. They had crafted a stunning visually unique film, but in the process forgot the substance that gives it heart. The characters did not move with the kind of heart and motivation that they have in the books. The story is butchered and chopped and then changed and mutated. Things are added, others tossed away. It is an altogether befuddling event I still do not quite understand. You still, at six movies (four for some) have some actors who refuse to bother to understand their character. They will not read the books, and it shows. They show no grasp of who they are supposed to be. Between this acting, directing, and storytelling, you have beautiful film that accomplishes nothing but to take something special away from me. Maybe I'm being melodramatic (Okay, maybe I am definitely being melodramatic), but those books are something special to me.

The actual effort of craft that went into the film was great with beautiful cinematography and visual effects. The score was unnoticeable except for allusions to a couple of Williams' themes. In the end, I probably will not venture forth to view the movie again of my own volition. Mr. Yates, Snape did not kill Dumbledore, you and Michael Gambon saw to that.

Tin Men

2009-05-21T03:11:00.000-07:00

I saw Terminator: Salvation this evening. Expect no review at the present, I am sorry. I am writing a dual review for both Terminator and Star Trek for the playfire.com community news, so I really don't want to double my work. However, I did want to encourage people to go see it. In light of the third film, or the confusing (and now dead) TV show, many have been put off of the idea of more Terminator. Do not ignore it. It is worth your money. It may not be the fun film that Star Trek was, but it was not meant to be. I believe that it brought meaning back to a franchise that I previously thought ended at Terminator: Judgment Day.

Ready for Print, almost.

2009-05-16T15:00:00.000-07:00

More Work in Progress

2009-05-12T16:19:00.001-07:00

It Begins

2009-05-11T21:13:00.000-07:00

Arghlgl, I had a nice post written, but it was vanquished by the evil blogger which seeks to invert the colors and nuke the quality of any picture I try to upload. Well, I uploaded it at an alternative site, so here's something I worked on for about three and a half hours this evening. It is one of three character designs I am doing for my 2D final. It really just dawned on me today that some of these projects have to get done, seeing as finals week begins in one week (cue "Final Countdown"). So anyways, I pooped out this first character design. He was probably my favorite of the three original sketches I did, and I am still undecided as to what I think about the final product. The end goal is to put together at least one comic strip featuring these kiddies. If I mismanage my time and don't end up finishing up a strip by next Monday, just wait until the first week of summer. I am going to the desert with my family and apparently there isn't anything to do there, haha. Anyways, I hope you dig it, and I will post more of the designs and info as I have the time to share. I hope you dig it: (jpeg conversion screwed up the colors, but w/e)

A Return

2009-05-08T01:14:00.000-07:00

We as movie goers often begin to accept the mundane and mediocre as acceptable in a world where we are constantly inundated with sub-standard cinema. We come to accept it, and barring pure garbage, we will enjoy ourselves and give a movie a passing grade. This is a travesty. One we rarely recognize, save the few steady eyes that remain critical of that which they spend money on (I know one or two).

A week ago, I saw X-Men Origins: Wolverine. After seeing X-Men: Last Stand, I had barely any expectations for this film. I hoped for some meager entertainment, and it gave it to me. Hence, I was happy with my victory, claimed with $11.50 (or whatever price they charge us for movies this day in age). However, there are moments like this evening that force a reevaluation of film, because, like a breath of fresh air, I am exposed to something new and fresh, yet old and familiar. I see something both wondrous in imagery and story. I do not want to sound like a cliche or melodramatic (though it is probably to late for that), but this movie sits as a testament to why I am studying in film.

Sure, in the last year there has been good movies. Our world is not completely absent of them, but rarely are they translated so pristinely on the big screen. Quantum of Solace was great as was movies like The Dark Knight and Iron Man, some of the bigger standouts in the last year (that I saw). People recognize these films, and they do well because of it. Others may be lucky to have a strong opening (see Wolverine), but if nothing else, quickly disappear. Those movies persevered in theaters and did well enough to see recognition at home release and even sequels. However, in my not so humble opinion, they will not be movies that are recognized the farther we become removed from their time. Few films hold that status.

Am I claiming Star Trek is one of those films? Possibly. I can not determine the future nor determine the opinions of every human, but I can say for myself that this film was amazing. Some may toss me aside as a Trekkie. That is fine, if you would rather pigeon-hole me, but it is not true. I have more exposure than the casual person but much less than the Trekkie. With these factors in mind, I invite you to see the film for yourself. See old friends, or new, if you have never ventured into Gene Roddenberry's universe. See something fresh yet something familiar.

Captain James T. Kirk could not have put it better at the end of his command on the Enterprise, "This is the final cruise of the Starship Enterprise under my command. This ship and her history will shortly become the care of another crew. To them and their posterity will we commit our future. They will continue the voyages we have begun and journey to all the undiscovered countries boldly going where no man, where no one...has gone before."

In Addendum:
As is oft' to happen in the late hours of the morning after viewing a film, I am given over to the feverish ramblings of the overall impressions given unto me in seeing said film. There is no detail or reason, which is likely to give many over to simply ignoring my prattle. While, there is nothing wrong with that, I figured a more typical review may be in order. I highly recommend viewing the film for yourself before reading this part, though I will try to retain from large spoilers (though general plot elements may be implied for those who have no clue of the set up).

Every good film, game, song, etc, etc begins with a good story. It is pressing, important, necessary to the success of the creation, and Star Trek had its story in full colors. As my roommate pointed out about the script, itself, it was ambitious. Not a truly complex narrative, it presented a new reality to play in with our old friends. No longer bound by about fifty years of canon, the scribes of humble origins presented us with a compelling story that made me care for the characters in a way I never felt for the crew before (this may be a generational thing in my case). The arch of the narrative shows off the characters as well. Another key element to the success of the feature. The actors brought off the perfect mix of staying true to a character long established yet bringing their own take to it landing in a very stable balance that prevented a feeling of stilted emulation or complete inaccuracy. I can tell the scribes enjoyed throwing out some of the recognizable lines out there that even the most passing of Star Trek fans can not help but cheer and clap at (as was the case at our theater).

The next step is an important one for film. Bringing a world to life visually. You have a story, you have actors, now how do you convince the world that this exists. By beautiful production design and nigh flawless visual effects we are treated to a Star Trek universe I have never been more ready to believe in.

In the end, all these elements combined to form the finished movie, Star Trek. Everything and more. Only one thing for next time, I want more Scotty.

Frivolity, Mayhem, and the Untapped Natural Resources of the Moon

2009-05-05T13:09:00.000-07:00

It has been pretty crazy of late. So I apologize to all those who look to this blog for confirmation and stability in light of the ever changing world in which we live. We have an economy that continues to swirl around a pit of darkness, and one that is only forgotten in the light of a pandemic of porkish proportions. It seems that when it rains, it does indeed pour. So, the question is how do we react to the very rules of life and death being torn asunder.

I'm personally inclined to just put on some music, flip on the television, attend class, and generally go about my day in a traditional fashion. Not even the devil at my door step gets my pulse pumping. Really, it is too bad. I love to panic in general mayhem as much as the next fellow. The mass media just do not get my as excited as they used to. Too many times have their tales of SARS and Avian Influenza and War and Apocalypse let me down. Eventually, one can no longer respond with the vigor of former hysteria to the boy crying wolf.

If the day is to come, I will simply let it pass over me as if I had not been warned for the last ten years of my life of its impending coming of doom. Mind you, if it turns out to be zombies, I am always ready for that happening. Too many video games and movies in my impressionable youth. I honestly expect a zombie apocalypse to wipe out mankind before swine flu death tolls reach one thousand. I do not want to trivialize the deaths of even a single life to the sickness, but it is hard to take seriously in light of the 36,000 who died of the normal influenza strain on average each year of the 1990's in the United States alone.

So, in the growing shadow of the media hysteria, I find myself more worried with my academic finals right around the corner in the next two weeks. Still concerned with the future, I am more likely to have a panic attack about what I will be doing post-college in two years than I am about swine flue or December of 2012. I am more concerned about the quality of J.J. Abram's Star Trek than I am about my impending death that the news seems to be preaching my death daily with shouts of pandemic, depression, and seemingly imminent nuclear war.

Sure, people are being affected by these things. The economy still sits in a pit of despair and many people are losing their jobs. This is an example of a very present and actual reality. The failure of entire industries is a very real idea. The rise of the Black Death in the form of swine flue, however, is not. Most people seem aware of this. I am glad. However, if you are the news anchor for a major network, I have a link for you.

For the faithful few that see fit to gaze upon these words in light of our impending doom, take heart, summer is almost here. I am thinking about taking a vacation to Mexico, care to join?

The Pinnacle of Humanity

2009-04-12T00:18:00.000-07:00

It's very rare that I see a movie that is so bad that it's good. Or rather, not just good, but the best movie I've seen at a theater in the last six months. I don't wish to hold you in suspense, so I will share my hidden knowledge with you now. Dragonball Evolution is amazing.

Now, don't just tune me out right there. I know many will be tempted. Do not! There's a matter of great importance here. You need to see this movie. I don't care if you've seen five seconds of an episode once and thought it was the stupidest thing you've ever seen, you watched the whole series cover to cover, or you have no clue what I'm talking about, and you simply think my rantings the ramblings of a crazy man.

In this incarnation, you see several variations on the original series. Don't look at this as a live action version. Rather, view it as inspired by the series.

This movie has it all: crazy action and stylized effects (I believe courtesy of producer, Stephen Chou <3), awesome hair (Goku's still got it), and the sexy ladies (Chi-Chi and Bulma got it--though Bulma is the worst actress to ever grace the screen =D). Bottom line: you want it, this has got it.

Of course we can't forget the great actors who decided to bless this film with their presence; Chow Yun-Fat, the great and wise and perverted as always Master Roshi, and the ever entertaining James Masters (Spike of Buffy fame) as the illustrious, evil, and green Namekian, King Piccolo.

Expect the random and the nonsensical, but at the same time, always expect pure awesome to pour out of the screen. This is worth every last penny. The mighty story of how the socially awkward teenage alien/demon thing, Goku, journeys with friends to acquire the Dragonballs in order to prevent the evil and muscled King Piccolo from reigning the world from his terrifying...airship?

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Academy, I present my nomination for the 2009 Best Picture Academy Award: Dragonball Evolution. Tell your friends, tell your enemies, tell your classmates, tell your teachers, tell your mom, tell your dad, this movie is SU-PER RAD!!!

Jar Jar Binks' Revenge

2009-04-07T10:14:00.000-07:00

Launch the full version of Whirled

I'm thinking about doing something like this for my senior project. Thoughts? The guy who made this is one of my favorite webcomic artists of ThreePanelSoul and Machall.

The game, itself, is simple but fun. I'd probably goto either my friend Daniel or some other programmers I know at school for all the grunt work, they'd get a game for their portfoliio as well. And I'd do all the art, animation, etc. Don't know if it's really viable, but I'll start looking into how to do this kind of stuff.

This game was made using a thing called Whirled. An interesting concept. Now, I'll just have to figure out what kind of game mine will be! Maybe a Jar Jar Binks solo adventure game!

Hey Bub

2009-04-01T13:50:00.000-07:00

So, I'll bet you are amazed to hear, but to get my mind off things lately, I decided to draw a bit. Well, due to a conversation I had, I decided to do some Wolverine sketching. Figured it would be interesting to draw.

Sigh, well, things did not turn out as I wished. So, you will not be seeing it. Mayhaps I will try again in a few days and show you guys that one. The first one ended up looking more like a hairy ten year old. Additionally, due to the posture of the character he appeared pretty overweight. After that I did some shading on the character which made him actually look hispanic. This is all well and good, but in the end, Wolverine is neither ten, overweight, or hispanic. Mind you, I guess he was ten at some point and may have been overweight.

I will try out doing a more dynamic pose with reference and hopefully I'll have something for you guys. I will not be allowing you to beat me this time. Hey, I'm the best at what I do. And what I do is apparently suck at drawing Wolverine.

Commitment and Failure

2009-03-19T16:59:00.000-07:00

I know you read it here on this very blog that I committed myself to working on my art daily and sharing it here for your bemusement, but things change. And by change, I mean four days into it I'll just kind of stop. Now, I know you are all now cracking your knuckles and grabbing your baseball bats and golf clubs, and that's fine. I gave you permission.

Honestly, I was getting burnt out working on 3D and 2D projects. Now, I know that you'll be quick to point out that this hardly has anything to do with drawing and my commitment, but art (if what I churn out is can be called that) all consumes a certain amount of creativity and motivation so by the time I get around to working on personal projects I'd rather just sit down and play a game, listen to music, watch a movie, or chat with friends (dig that run-on?). Anyways, just thought I'd throw up a post since it had been awhile. A post sin-art. You'll survive, I'm sure (though I may not survive said beatings). A quick happy birthday to Andrew, you filthy animal (and one of 2, maybe 3 readers). Also, feel free to checkout the new links I put up to my twitter and 12seconds account. Both are filled with the inane babblings of me that you never cared to know.

Have a good weekend, kids, and stay classy.

Arghrghrghghglllgrhhl...

2009-02-26T17:46:00.001-08:00

The product of hours of work. There's my model's head. Based on Linguine from the film, "Ratatouille," this is being crafted for my Intermediate 3d project. Ugh. It looks horrible. I'm probably going to sit down and model the torso again (a third time...there's a reason it isn't shown here). The head, I have half a mind to remodel as well. The tips for doing the hair were...bad. I'd like to do it a different way. I know a lot of people just covered it up with a chefs hat...that's well and fine, but I'd just assume not, seeing as I'm trying to make a small break from the source material. There's also a couple other small fixes to make before I start rigging. This includes but isn't limited to a small gap in the lip that needs to be merged (no clue what happened with the instancing there, and the fact that there is still a slight seam along the nose (was having issues getting rid of). Oh well, that's that. Let me know what ya'll think.

A Growing Habit

2009-02-26T12:25:00.000-08:00

Now, I remember middle school. It wasn't the worst of times, but it wasn't the best of times. Something, though, that did happen was my introduction to the world of gaming (on a larger scale beyond my SNES and Final Fantasy VII) and to the world of webcomics. Webcomics a varied and intriguing thing. It was full of jokes about internet meme's I didn't understand and video games I had never heard of but every other real gamer had.

I first found myself at nuklearpower.com, a site that hosted 8-bit Theater, a FFI parody webcomic. It was interesting, and I have since ceased activity there. My readings then expanded to big names and no names in the world of webcomics. At one point I probably frequented somewhere between 15 and 20 of these sites. I then cut down to one. Megatokyo.com a webcomic fashioned as an American constructed manga. It soon changed from the funny nature of a typical webcomic to that of an actual webcomic. I have never stopped reading it. The only constant in my webcomic growth. Well, from there it started to grow again, and lately, it has begun to reach proportions similar to the last golden age of webcomics.

It's interesting, because when I first started reading webcomics it mainly reflected a culture of PC gaming, something that has been decimated in the wake of the last two generations of consoles. It still exists, but it certainly is not what it was. There were golden games of hordes of awesome online fps' people would talk about (I recall hearing of many like Tribes, Unreal, and more), my personal one was Team Fortress Classic. Now, I've changed with the times and have become more partial to consoles myself (outside of the occasional TF2 round and mmo's).

Anyways, I'm getting off track. I seem to be adding new webcomics daily now. Some have been around for years, and I've just avoided while others are brand new. Well, I thought I'd list them out, and you could check them out if you weren't interested. Some are really good, some I'm not sure. Enjoy.

Megatokyo --I dig the art for this too, story-centric
Applegeeks --Awesome art and intriguing stuffs
ThreePanelSoul (formerly the guys of Machall) --Machall was a gaming/college webcomic; ThreePanelSoul is just amazing artistically
VG Cats --Started reading today
Nine Shot Sonata (Just found today, it's new and only has a few things posted)
Real Life Comics --Read for awhile, it's chill
Gunnerkrigg Court --Story-centric odd thing. Unique.
Girls With Slingshots
Questionable Content --Hillarious, yet sometimes (mostly) inappropriate
Penny Arcade --You all Probably know this one.
Johnny Wander --Some carryover people from Applegeeks
Overcompensating

I know you all probably don't care. Just thought I'd share. I'll post something tonight. It'll probably be screen shots of my 3d project I'm going to be working on the rest of the day.

Variations on a Digital Theme

2009-02-25T17:35:00.000-08:00

Thanks to my friend, I managed to get my hands on a nice wacom tablet today. It is an interesting thing, and my feelings on it are mixed. The feeling of the pen on the tablet is something akin to a marker on a whiteboard, except with even less resistance. This leads to an interesting conundrum when trying to draw. I couldn't. At least not in detail because I lacked the control necessary over the pen. I am sure this is something I could accustom myself to. Though, I've heard that the Cintiq actually works to mimic a pen on paper feel. That would be nice. Anyways, I instead found this odd, convenient, yet odd contraption useful for digital painting. Something I have never really done before. So below you will see the product of my work. I started with just a blue brush that I laid out shades in. No reference was used, a mistake that I'll fix next time for a much better work. It was an interesting venture. I doubt I'd do it the same way again. Anyways, here it is. Enjoy. Leave your thoughts.

Also, colors seemed to fade in the jpeg. Oh well. (click for full picture)

Digital Machinations

2009-02-24T18:45:00.000-08:00

Andrew is going to beat me. Out of fear, I am assuaging you with some things. Below you will find Friday's piece (bleh) and today's project inspired by this and this.

On further reflection, the prime off proportion is head versus the bottom of his body. All the proportions also wouldn't suffer as much without the heavy outline which typically flatten images. Oh well, I'm past this picture. I really don't care for it or its style.

Today's project was an experiment with Adobe Flash CS3 which I've never used before. And it shows. I started a more serious one, that was actually a fun experiment with adding panels that revealed more of the picture, but I disliked it. Ultimately, these suffer from just being hastily and impatiently done with a mouse and the paint brush tool, at least flash uses vectors. That helps. Next time, I'm borrowing a tablet.

enjoy? (I'm having some issues with the embedding, so if you don't see the video loading above this CLICK HERE)

Proportions

2009-02-20T13:34:00.000-08:00

So I drew a picture today. I spent a bunch of hours yesterday logging time on a free lil' mmo and decided to draw a pic of my yo-yo wielding character. Meh, I don't care much for the anime-esque style anymore, but I decided it was a picture idea, so I wen with it. To make it more interesting though, I tried to mess around with some foreshortening, since it's definitely a weak spot for me. Yes. It definitely is. So, I have the picture sitting on my desk, and I'm not entirely positive I feel like posting it.

You may see it later. It's just a penciled sketch, nothing too amazing. And really oddly proportioned.

Practice

2009-02-19T15:37:00.001-08:00

So, I received in the mail, the other day, an art book by my favorite webcomic artist. And in follow up I was whining to Andrew about how much my art sucks and how I wish I could draw like the artists I like. He told me to practice. Yea, yea, yea. I told him I'd do one picture a day (at least) and post them here. Today, I decided to try inking and coloring it in photoshop. So, I did a quick little doodle. Really quick, since inking/coloring is something I've never really done before. Well, I didn't end up inking/coloring the whole thing, I've been sitting at my computer a couple of hours now and am kind of done for the day. But all in all, this was a start, a new beginning, and if I don't post anything tomorrow, feel free to beat me.

Enjoy?

Confessions of an Ambitious Slacker

2009-01-23T11:10:00.000-08:00

I have great ambitions to do things. Lots of things in fact. These include but are not limited to getting a masters or even doctorate (doctorate?) in history with specifics in British or European histories, regularly producing a webcomic of a popular nature, working on a real comic (artist, writer, or otherwise) for the Marvel comic company, being lead artist and 3D animator for my friend Daniel's independently produced video game and maybe even working full-time for him (this all done while simultaneously attaining the aforementioned doctorate), finish (or start) the book that I started writing freshman year of high school, work for ILM as a visual effects artist, all while I sit around and play my favorite video games, watch my favorite movies, and magically support and spend time with a significant other. Once again, that's the abbreviated list.

There is one fault in my plans (one?). I am a slacker. I want these things to magically happen without much effort on my behalf. Ask anyone and they will ascent to the fact that I often cannot complete a video game because I get tired of "how difficult it is." Hey! They are pretty difficult.... Sigh. So, I have ambitions, but I am lazy (even more obvious because I started this sentence with a "so" transition, wtf?). What am I to do? Do I settle for one of my many options and accomplish it (with a fair amount of mediocrity that I complete most things), or do I go for the gold and try and do it all? How do I do it all? When your motivation is simply not to fail, it can be a somewhat lacking motivation to push one to do his best, at least for me.

Hmmmm, maybe I should just switch all my focus to becoming an accountant and follow the rest of my family.

I should write a movie script about this. It could sit around with all the other half-finished manuscripts ("half-finished" being a generous statement there).

I sell the truth.

2008-12-24T20:35:00.001-08:00

Never trust a one-eyed Bible salesman.

Romeo + Juliet

2008-12-11T00:36:00.000-08:00

"Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life;
Whole misadventured piteous overthrows
Do with their death bury their parents' strife.
The fearful passage of their death-mark'd love,
And the continuance of their parents' rage,
Which, but their children's end, nought could remove,
Is now the two hours' traffic of our stage;
The which if you with patient ears attend,
What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend."

-Prologue, Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare

Here I sit as the credits slowly scroll to Radiohead's slow dirge "Exit Music (For a Film)." It does nothing but to impress upon you the mood that's left at the end of Shakespeare's tragedy of star cross'd lovers.

I always told myself this was not my favorite of dear William's plays, but as I watch the crawling text, I am reminded of the part of me that holds onto such whimsical and romantic views of love and loss. The practical side of me always fights this, saying how could one love at first sight, that there is so much more to love. Yet every time, still do I play the fool to adolescent whims. And my heart rises and falls with the hopeful and tragic turnings of the play.

My original intent for renting this film was to see Baz Luhrmann's vision and the contemporary setting with original dialogue. The concept intrigued me stylistically and for the ideas behind it. I thought that the dialogue would be jarring in the modern setting, or at least clash with the actors who were quoting them. Yet, once the movie began and I saw Montague's and Capulet's brawling at a gas station, it had me. It knew what it was and it didn't try to do anything besides be that. Not once did I feel lost among the sometimes befuddling quotes because of the actions and emotion that the actors threw into their performance, over dramatic to say the least. But this being highly complementary to the dramatic style favored by Luhrmann and this film.

While the young lovers do seem hindered at times in their delivery, they do have me convinced of their feelings. The visual style compounded with motifs of water gave me occasional flashes of Moulin Rouge with its moments of deep blue and self aware performance.

The music was present and complementary, not intrusive. It stayed mellow for the most part, consistent with the credit sequence.

Overall, I enjoyed this movie much more than I originally thought I would. Luhrmann's films continue to engross me with their simple love stories and star cross'd characters surrounded by a world unique to his stylistic vision.

If you haven't seen this, and don't hate this play as one of Shakespeare's worst, then I would recommend this to you for a casual viewing. I hope you enjoy it.

"A glooming peace this morning with it brings;
The sun, for sorrow, will not show his head:
Go hence, to have more talk of these sad things;
Some shall be pardon'd, and some punished:
For never was a story of more woe
Than this of Juliet and her Romeo."

-Prince, Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare

Veritas et Aequitas

2008-11-19T21:18:00.000-08:00

"Now you will receive us.
We do not ask for your poor or your hungry.
We do not want your tired and sick.
It is your corrupt we claim.
It is your evil that will be sought by us.
With every breath, we shall hunt them down.
Each day we will spill their blood til it rains down from the skies.
Do not kill, do not rape, do not steal,
these are principles which every man of every faith can embrace.
These are not polite suggestions.
These are codes of behavior
and those of you that ignore them will pay the dearest cost.
There are varying degrees of evil,
we urge you lesser forms of filth
not to push the bounds and cross over into true corruption, into our domain.
But if you do,
one day you will look behind you
and you will see we three
and on that day you will reap it.
And we will send you to which ever god you wish.
And shepherds we shall be,
For Thee, my Lord, for Thee.
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command.
So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
And teeming with souls shall it ever be.
In Nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritūs Sancti."

-The Boondock Saints

Quantum of Solace

2008-11-14T02:40:00.001-08:00

It's been a long while since I sat down to do a movie review. This is mostly because I haven't seen a movie really worth my time to review in awhile.

I'll begin with recommending you see this film. Additionally, if you haven't yet, see Casino Royale first. Personally, I don't care if you're a Bond fan or not, I feel that the new direction that has been taken with Daniel Craig in the title role has reinvigorated and remade the series.

Now, I've read my fair share of negative reviews for this film, but I feel that these reviews were made of Quantum as a solo product. Which it isn't. This is the direct sequel to Casino Royale; I like to think of it as a 2 hour-ish expansion pack to the movie, not that it doesn't stand strong by itself either. It just allows the viewer to fully understand the emotions and motivations of characters.

James Bond returns, or rather continues, where we last left him at the end of Casino, something I'll leave out in case you still haven't gotten around to seeing it. He's angry, he's bitter, but he still manages to drop the charm on occasion, though it feels slightly stilted by his circumstance. Additionally, the two Bond girls in this, though I believe only one should be blessed with the title, both fill their part. Miss Strawberry Fields (yes, that is her name) fulfills her 5 minutes of screen time elegantly, while the slightly more deep character of Camille manages to engage the interest of the viewer. After Vesper Lynde in Casino, I didn't expect to care for the Bond girls, in fact, I expected to dislike them, given how much I had grown fond of Vesper in the previous, but Camille manages to let herself become part of the film without competing with Vesper for Bond's love and memory. Camille retains her separation from Bond yet still allows for a playful interaction and a relationship of mutual understanding. That was all pretty wordy and probably hard to follow if you haven't seen the movie yet, so I'll leave it there.

The story here isn't particularly complex, but the film is more about the characters in this one. It chooses instead to let Bond's character grow from the experiences in the last film, M to grow in her trust of 007, and even a little bit of screen time for Felix Leiter to show there are some good Americans out there.

The camera work of the film is alright, more or less saved by amazing editing that keeps the viewer engaged, but slightly lagging behind sometimes. The only times the film failed visually were two visual effects heavy (visual effects exclusively?) scenes that stood out sorely from the rest of the film. These aside, most of the action, car chase, and flying (yes, flying. you'd know if you'd seen the trailer) scenes keep the steady attention of the viewer.

In the end, I found myself very pleased with this film. It allowed me to see some complexity to the characters and to watch them grow. I got to see a another Bond film without absurd technology and go-boom cars, and I even got to see another Bond girl with half a brain and a notion that kept her from giving it up on the first date. Basically, watch Casino Royale if you haven't, and then go see Quantum of Solace. It is worth your ten bucks, if you don't mind me saying.

James Bond will return.

Lies

2008-11-07T11:30:00.000-08:00

lie
1 /lahy/
noun, verb, lied, ly⋅ing.
–noun

1. a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood.
2. something intended or serving to convey a false impression; imposture: His flashy car was a lie that deceived no one.
3. an inaccurate or false statement.
4. the charge or accusation of lying: He flung the lie back at his accusers.

Something to give a false impression, even if every word of it is truth. I am a liar.

source: dictionary.com

Where do we go from here?

2008-11-05T00:29:00.000-08:00

I don't care for politics. It annoys me, and I'd avoid it altogether if possible, but this is not possible. Especially at this time when it becomes an all-consuming mass of anger and debate, accomplishing nothing positive. By now, I assume most of you know the results of this election. I won't rehash them here if you haven't, aside from one that has really bothered me. No. Angered me.

Proposition 4, in the state of California, did not pass. This proposition would have made it mandatory for a parent or legal guardian to be notified a specific time before a minor would have an abortion (proviso's being made so that the minor could get a court appointed guardian if in an unsafe home situation). So now, a minor can go with no parental guidance or support and have an abortion. Despite your stance on abortion, you all must agree that it is something that cannot be burdened by oneself, especially at such a young age, when you are below the legal age and not even allowed to have any sort of surgery without parental consent.

Yet California does not agree. This does not bother me as much as the next part. Proposition 8, which prohibits homosexual's rights to marry, was passed after over 60 million dollars in advertising and support were poured in. I don't care what you voted on 8. But now as I look at the major loss of 4, I can only think that we weren't debating the important issue with 8. This was important. This involves lives and survival, yet we just let it pass us by as we argued tenants of religion and equal rights. Will people die if 8 had passed or not? Not as I read it.

So good job California, and all those people who quest to preserve life and equality. After 60 million dollars and lots of debate, you all lost. Goodnight.

See you later space cowboy

2008-09-22T15:00:00.001-07:00

You're gonna carry that weight...

Mister Colbert

2008-09-16T21:52:00.000-07:00

Contentment

2008-09-13T23:36:00.000-07:00

So I've learned a lesson. Well, hopefully I've learned. It's not the first time there's been an attempt to teach me this lesson. The thing is, I have a knack for impulse buying...binges. For lack of a better term.

So recently I made a series of purchases of stuff...I really didn't need. Mind you, most of the stuff I buy, I don't need. So anyways, I sit now and just kinda wonder to myself why I did it. Sure, I'll enjoy most of the stuff I got, some of it won't be worth the money I paid, but that's really not the point right now. Either way, I'm just kind of disgusted with myself, and that makes it difficult to even enjoy the money I've wasted...

I don't even know. I'm just kind of done.

I really just want to find contentment without any of my crap, because the more I buy the less content it seems to make me...

The Dark Knight

2008-08-28T21:10:00.000-07:00

Now that I have Photoshop. This is what I do when I'm bored and realize I have no mouse to allow me to properly do line art and color things. Paint brush and drag pad. Why did I buy the master collection when all I needed was MS Paint?

dreams

2008-08-22T00:03:00.000-07:00

In a brief moment, memories begin to fade, the sense begins to dull, and the once real, the once present world that surrounded me passes away. I grasp urgently at the last trails of what only remains as a dim dream, and my heart begins to crack. The tendrils of the splitting seam spreads like a virus, sucking the life from the feeble beating organ. It wasn't a dream! It wasn't! But all the same, it begins to fade so quickly.

The subtle glance, the gentle touch, it suddenly returns. It stays with me. And slowly, the rest of the world around me, moments ago tearing me away, begins to fade, and what once only seemed a dream took hold of me. Unsurpassed, the rest fades to nothing as i fall back into dreams.

Who Watches the Watchme

2008-07-17T19:49:00.000-07:00

I'm optimistic.
You decide.

Oh and that's not all!!!

www.drhorrible.com

Watch, enjoy, spread the word.

Unknown

2008-07-14T11:47:00.000-07:00

He stood there, gazing intently down the the stretching scrap of dirt road that was rustled and stirred lazily by the warm winds. The sweat on his face plastered with dust. He waited a moment, then glanced over his shoulder. Both directions seemingly went on forever with no sign on the horizon. Taking a moment he knelt down and reached into a pack, still latched to a horse sprawled dead on the ground. Hesitating a moment, he pulled out his worn leather canteen and opened it. Hoping against what he knew, he raised it, attempting to coax a drink from the dry vessel. With a deep sigh he placed it back in the pack, cutting it off of his horse, he shouldered his burden and straightened.

Taking one last deep breath he took a step forward. Only the unknown could hold hope.

The Landlord's Daughter

2008-07-02T22:38:00.000-07:00

Black tresses fell over her face. The spirit of allure and mystery present in her dark eyes and deep lips. Her step was light and graceful, everything done with passion and life. Done with passion. Done with life.

Yet every moment was he there to dog her every step away from the house. For the ostler, Tim, lusted for her. His lust went to madness pervading his every thought, yet she would not have him. Bess, the landlord's daughter, would not have him. For she loved another. One other.

As the sun set upon the day and the night arrived to carry on time's duties, so with it came a man riding high upon his horse. The moon hung overhead glowing like treasure over the flowing purple moor. Under its gaze and through its fields came the man. Quietly, he entered the yard stowing his elegant cocked hat and silencing his noble steed; he approached the inn. Silently and steadily, he approached the inn.

Pulling out his whip he tapped softly on the windows and waited. Nothing came from the inn but darkness, but patiently did the man wait. Then from the darkness came a light that showed not from any man made source but from the glowing face of the landlord's daughter, and the man's breath was caught up at the sight of her immortal beauty. Her endless beauty. Her true beauty.

Silence is all that the man could muster in response.

"What does attract your attention so?" inquired Bess, the landlord's daughter.

"The immortal beauty of the fairest woman I have been blessed to see with mine eyes."

"Oh?"

It was at this, that the man reached up to the upper window towards the landlord's daughter.

"One kiss? More than I could ever ask, yet I do."

With that Bess, the landlord's daughter, let her tresses down letting the scent of her perfume pour down upon the highwayman. And gratefully did he drink in her scent.

Yet the intimacy was not kept theirs, for the jealous Ostler waited and watched from the stables, malicious, full of dark thoughts. Evil thoughts. Dead thoughts.

And away the highwayman road. Fast and away were the hooves heard across the cobblestone road. Long did the jealous Ostler wait. Wait. Wait.

But then in one moment did he sprint to the town guard's house and call upon the red-suited men. Red-coated men.

Barely had the sun risen that the red-uniformed men approached the inn. Bursting down the door, they disregarded the landlord and drank ale for the rest of the day, a skulking shadow in their midst. A malicious shadow in their midst.

Up the stairs they tread, pulling the Landlord's Daughter to the ground. Bess, the landlord's daughter.

There they felt her. They kissed her. Defenseless. Alone.

Tied to a bedpost, Bess, the landlord's daughter, waited with a gun beneath her breast. The malicious shadow leered from the darkened corner while the red-coated men waited at the window sides and the courtyard below. Yet the Landlord's Daughter would not give up. grasping the gun beneath her breast, and at the sound of the highwayman's noble horse across the purple moor -- Bess, the beauty -- Bess, the landlord's daughter -- Bess pulled the trigger of the gun 'neath her breast with a single triumphant look. One victorious look.

Stunned were the red-coated men. Frightened was the jealous Ostler. Surprised was the gallant thief, that turned to the suspicious tale heading back over the purple moor. Away over the purple sea.

Yet the next day did the highwayman hear. The cowardly thief did learn.

And so he ran. And so he road.

And as once again the moon rose with him in the endless turning of night and time, the desperate lover rode hard to the inn. Knowing what waited, he road. Knowing his death, he road.

His noble steed, now bloodied with urgency. His face now contorted with desperation. They both road across the purple moor. At the sight of the red-coated men, he did not stop. He did not hesitate. He did calm.

In the last moments as the last lover fell did he find peace. A final peace. His love eternal. The Landlord's Daughter.

And every time when the moon does rise as it did before the highwayman, does the Landlord's Daughter let loose her black tresses to the waiting man. A lover's rendezvous. Never ending under the nighttime sky.

The Highwayman by Alfred Noyes

Desired

2008-06-28T00:37:00.000-07:00

Most people, myself included, hardly believe most reviews. We each have a separate eye, a separate ear, a different take on everything. I hardly ever believe most of the crap I type out for this blog. Yet, I do find that there can be shared experiences. Certain people can respond similarly to an event or happening while others cannot or will not understand. That is not to say anything negative about them, but to say that there are some who do share these responses. I believe this is part of experience that brings certain people closer together than others.

I experience this most often, as I believe others would, at the cinema. Movies built to common themes that a majority or specific demographic can respond to is produced to provide an audience with the most enjoyable experience they, themselves, can have. At the same time, not everyone in the audience will have a common or positive reaction. They may not respond to the movie as the maker intended. This is no fault to either side, but it does not dismiss something as bad [though this is certainly not to say that there is no bad products; certainly those made without thought or care could not be excused by this].

This evening, I saw Wanted. A group of people I heard after the movie said they "kind of enjoyed it" but were put off by some portions. They had the response by those who were vaguely entertained. There was no response for them, no communion with their fellow audience in the spirit of the themes presented. Them aside, I can only speak, truly, of my own experience this evening. A time where I saw laid out before me the choices we have in our lives. Ultimately, choosing to be who I want, not fearing people, not fearing pain, only a wish to pursue our lives not bothered by these fears. It was an experience that brought up these themes seen in other films. It was a time that I sat and responded to what I was being shown, as were others in the theater.

Sure, many people will go home and tell their family "It was alright, kind of gory though" or "not very realistic." But for me, I will say that, as a movie, it provided entertainment, quality, time well spent, and as an experience it provided a moment of response and thought that was well worth viewing the film.

Muse

2008-06-25T22:57:00.000-07:00

For thou I have sought many lands,
many times have I traveled,
places in plenty have I walked,
yet you elude me, just beyond my sight,
beyond the periphery of my mind,
you stand by the slow moving stream
in the forests of time's absence
and last as an eternal symbol for all that refuses me.

If I could hear but one word,
one whisper, may it be
that it would unleash the rivers of my own mind
that the stars would shine brighter,
the colors more brilliant,
and your eyes enrapture me evermore.
So that it may be that my tongue would weave such melody and verse as to shame the great poets and bards of the ages,
not by any skill of my own
but rather through the powers of your own beauty.

Let the inspiration flow,
so that this meager ode,
the spawn of frustration
and hopeless wishes
may yet transform into a worthy song for you.
My Muse.

Music

2008-06-15T13:17:00.001-07:00

Music that is a passing craze is something I've never been into. I'll listen to it, but if I buy it, it's for the long run because I enjoy it. There is few times, though, where I find music I'm really drawn to that I do not feel is limited by time or place, but that is something I really relate to. I've found this.

I have a good friend. He's someone who has worked on his own personal music endeavors for awhile, but now he's found himself in a band. It's called Aurora. Like the northern phenomenon. I took the time, finally, to look them up and listen to them. I have to say I was completely caught off guard. My friend has been talking about it for awhile as it's slowly taken off. Finally, he said that this summer they were touring the west coast. Well, I missed my opportunity last night to see them at the Knitting Factory, and now as I listen to them for the first time, I'm a little bit disappointed. I listen to this music, and it surprises me by pressing my mind in new ways. I'm not speaking for the lyrics. I'll state that I rarely am one to be drawn to an artist's lyrics, but I do find the music itself to draw me. It's this quality that causes me to realize that my friend has left the land of garage band and has found himself part of something unique.

Really it's an inspiration for myself, and I hope that in the future I may have the opportunity once again to hear them live. Until then, I'll just tell them to keep doing what they love, and I will continue to love it.

2 for 2

2008-06-14T00:13:00.001-07:00

So, in the humble opinion of the author, Marvel has done it again. Their fledgling studio has produced its second success. I don't know how the box office will reflect it, if it'll even near Iron Man's current season record holding, but it is good enough to at least make second or third.

Going in with as many apprehensive thoughts as I was, I was pleasantly surprised by a very true and honest rendering of Banner and the Hulk. He is not a super-hero. He cannot control his power. And this is all very well reflected in the film. The renderings of the characters was beautiful though certain other graphic renderings were obviously sacrificed in the meanwhile. This was acceptable to me.

Additionally, the movie often reflects upon the tone established in the Incredible Hulk television series. This is done to good effect and ultimately makes Banner an interesting character, who is well portrayed by Mr. Norton. Oh, and A+ for General Ross as well. William Hurt played his part. In fact, the only downside to this film were the stupid trailers put out in months previous that revealed all-too-much of the story, but that's just the stupid marketing people.

In the end, I was satisfied. Marvel's second shot solo was a success for the Hulk and a success for building the unity of the Marvel Universe in film.

I now eagerly await Marvel's next release. Strike that. I'll skip on Punisher, and wait with lackluster for X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Erm, that'd mean Thor right? Yeah. Go Thor!

"Hulk Smash!"
-The Incredible Hulk

An Unfinished Melody

2008-06-12T23:24:00.001-07:00

There is nothing new except what has been forgotten.
-Marie Antoinette

Five years ago, I sat down at my computer and began writing a story. Three pages later, I sat it down and haven't touched it since. I still think and daydream about it often. It is something that really interests me, but it's mostly concept. I can visualize the world and setting, but the details of a story arch elude me. But for your reading pleasure, I will reprint below the original opening sequence unaltered from that original sitting during freshman year. But I will not be reprinting the whole thing as it gets increasingly more embarrassing, and the writing more...crappy. Let me know if it sounds interesting to you or if you have any ideas for it. I think I'd love to do some writing for it. I might try running through some sort of outline for it. Who knows.

The tale that follows is the beginning of a string of lost tales from a land forgotten. We have forgotten our past and moved on to an empty and meaningless future, but some of us stand still and gaze back not forgetting who we were and where we came from…

A thin, shroud of mist slowly dissipated over the dark wood as the full moon shown its silvery gaze over the black canopy leading to the silent ground below. The ground was thick and soft covered with many years of debris and decay leaving a sense of death. Despite all appearances though, there was more than met the eye.
As suddenly as thought, a silhouetted figure appeared, and the cool night breeze swirled about and began rustling leaves as a damp life old and forgotten awoke and began to stir life into everything. Then just as abrupt, a dark blue glow appeared farther through the mysterious foliage.
The figure slowly moved toward the light curiously, moving into a small circular clearing where a blue flame floated in mid air. The mysterious phenomenon grew as the flame danced about slowly as if in a waltz to a dark melody of sorts. The figure stalked toward the flame cautiously. He reached out a hand from his cloak, hypnotically staring at the flame as he touched it.

Few saw what happened next and none would ever be seen to tell the tale, the world suddenly shifted. It left part of us behind while others swung forward into a stark future. But not everyone went with the world some stayed behind in the land of old, and yet others were dragged into a future they did not want or were ready for. They still long for the truth to return…

So, erm yea. I've tried a few rewrites of this original segment, some, I believe, were much more successful. Anyways, yea.

Flash and Shiny

2008-06-10T21:32:00.001-07:00

Yea, so, it's been awhile since I've blessed you with my discourse. Sorry, a full-time job will do that to you. I don't know how people manage it for a living. This week I seem to have a modicum more of energy. Ya know, functioning level, not feeling the compulsion to goto bed as soon as I've eaten my dinner.

Anyways, since this last weekend I've been exploring the wonders of Firefox. Now, I'm really not that far behind the times. I've had Firefox on my PC since middle school, but when I got my Mac Book Pro last year, I was put under the impression that safari was just fine and in fact I shouldn't bother with Firefox on the Mac. Well, this last weekend, as I said, I re-initiated myself. I'm glad. Now, I'm browsing in greater style than ever. That's right:

There is shiny everywhere. Add-ons are consuming me like a disease. Built-in IRC [Chatzilla], blog editor [Scribefire], facebook editor/monitor [Boost Facebook], are just some of the few I've already become immersed in. Additionally, you can probably notice the sleek skin on it as well. All kind of flash and shiny. Anyways, that's just a small bit of how I waste my few hours every evening.

Also, for a book update. Anna is coming along about 20 pages a day as of monday because I read during my lunch. I'm probably going to pick up this as well. Not because I believe it to be awesome. Mainly, because the author works part time in the cubicle next to me at work and I'd like to support her. Oh, and her description of the story sounded intruiging as well, though the Barnes & Noble reader reviews made me a little worried. Oh well, we'll see, eh?

As for this small discourse, I'll post something worth reading later. Have a good one.

Tired

2008-06-04T21:50:00.000-07:00

Man, who likes real jobs?

A Matter of Use

2008-06-01T15:32:00.000-07:00

Ya know, in this day and age I have seen a whole lot of fun gadgets, whatnots, and the others. Things that do lots of things all at once and things that do nothing at all but look shiny [a personal favorite of mine]. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not going to go off on how pointless these things are, quite the opposite in fact. The ones that have use, and in fact consolidate many different functions into a single device are very handy, maybe even worth the pricey tag, but there is a condition. You have to know you'll use it, you have to use it, and you can't have five other devices already that do one or more of the functions.

As dear Hamlet said "there's the rub." If you just keep accumulating these gadgets, you end up shelling out more money than is necessary, and you have a bunch of crap you don't need and are never going to use.

The problem is our society. We are a consumer nation. We, as a people, are consistently told that we need to own things, and many people listen. It's sad. I see so many people [I feel the draw and occasionally succumb as well] fall to the pull of this consumerism for crap they don't need. It's just another thing that does the same.

I kinda think to myself that if we can just make the device, I mean "The Device," the problem will be solved. This thing will be so amazing, it'd pretty much be the matrix. Think like iPhone twentieth generation. Anyways, most likely this still wouldn't solve the problem. Sigh. Oh well. Not much I can do for others, I only am the master of myself.

On a side note, I would like to take this time to mourn for Universal and my childhood. Goodbye Back to the Future. =(

Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull

2008-05-22T03:01:00.000-07:00

Not what I expected.

Still good ol' Indiana Jones.

Go see it, enjoy it.

I did.

The Final Cut

2008-05-20T11:36:00.000-07:00

So skipping the theatrical, director's, and whatever cuts happen to be out there, I delved into the Final Cut of the tech-noir film, Blade Runner. It was an experience. One I wasn't entirely prepared for, but I think I found it more powerful and intriguing because of it.

As for Deckerd being a replicant, I think either way didn't necessarily affect me. Maybe upon further viewings.

Yes, there will be several more viewings in the future.

See ya, Space Cowboy.

I'm a Hack

2008-05-20T01:12:00.000-07:00

In response to IGN and Andrew:

20. Irvine
19. Cait Sith
18. Kimahri
17. Fran
16.Rydia
15. Cecil
14. Cid
13. Kain
12. Locke
11. Auron
10. Red XIII
9. Reno
8. Vivi
7. Tifa
**Aeris
6. Vincent
5. Basche
4. Cloud
3. Balthier
2. Sepheroth
1. Zack

Some members of the list are merely there as representatives as one of a very few that stuck out from me from that particular game [Irvine]. The order itself is mostly inconsequential. The characters positions on this list are heavily impacted by when I played the game and how far I got into the game. Also, keep in mind, I have not played several of the games from the series for a significant amount. Though Locke made enough of an impression on me on the few hours I burned through on that installment. It's kinda haphazard and mostly meaningless so take it as you will. **Somehow Aeris missed the first draft of the list. She can be added around this approximate location.

A Reflection on a Subtle Art

2008-05-16T12:00:00.000-07:00

After a quick review I realized I was getting too serious lately. Heaven forbid it. And I do if it doesn't. So here for your joy and entertainment is my ramblings on more things you don't care about.

"You know, Buffy, Spring Fling just isn't any dance. It's a time for students to choose, um, a mate. And then we can observe their mating rituals, and tag them before they migrate..." -Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Xander to Buffy)

That's right. The critical moment. The grand approach. The wooing of women. It is an art to many, a fear to more, and ignored by others. But the question in my mind is which is the best approach to success? There are pick-up lines, classic if not delivered in a serious manner, there is the simple ask out to coffee, there is the direct approach that often gets men maced, there is the secret admirer approach that seems to be no longer cute past the age of twelve and is instead creepy. All of these and more are just some of the approaches men take in the wooing process of women.

Now, at the same time, all of these can be adapted and changed to the situation. Meaning, there is wooing women you know versus women you see walk past you into the local Starbucks and everything in between. So then it becomes which is the best approach for any given situation. I'd ask for reader response but seeing as my readership community of the one to three people who occasionally read, it would seem a pointless task. So, I will leave this as a simple commentary for now as I work through my own thoughts and opinions.

First, as my own experience would suggest, when trying to gain the attention of the random girl you see, it is best to take the most casual approach. That is the "hey, I saw you just now and thought you looked pretty cute/cool/whatever and was wondering if you would like to grab coffee or something sometime?" Now, while I know this sounds stupid, but I have had limited success on my few trial runs of this approach. One waitress I tried it on asked for my number instead (in retrospect she was probably trying to let me down nicely, but still she didn't just brush me off rudely); another girl suggested that her boyfriend might not like it but then proceeded to invite me to sit down and talk for an hour. Either way, it is an approach I plan to continue to use for now.

Now, next when it is someone you know well, I believe it becomes more tricky because you cannot count on never seeing the person again. So ways to approach this the best could be, in theory, the coffee date again. Most will go for it on a friendly level, which is the aim for this exercise. You are there to see that if in a one on one situation you guys still enjoy hanging out. If you find it to be a success, then begin asking her to hang out one on one more often until you guys can approach the DTR (Defining The Relationship) talk on a comfortable level. Additionally, I have seen some friends and acquaintances take the secret admirer approach, especially around Valentine's Day. Simply put, I don't recommend it. I have rarely seen it end well. In contrast, it may work well in conjunction with other techniques but I do not have first or second hand experience in that matter so I cannot say.

This is really just a quick overview of such nonsense. Things like pick-up lines are still great if the girl has a sense of humor. Anything can potentially work in any given situation, so always try and be inventive. In the end it is always better to try and fail. Personally, I don't care if I succeed as long as I know I tried. Now, before I wrap-up, I know my readers will question why a guy who has never been in a relationship before would write this...because I felt like it.

And now, for your listening pleasure.

She's so cool it's almost eerie
She's so fine I lost all hope
Genetical testing
Something has gone wrong
She should get back in her cage before they find she's gone
She said she hated Kenny G
That girl is way too good for me
We'll break up before it starts
She'll only tear my world apart
Da na na na na na na na na

Chorus:
Pre-ex-girlfriend, that girl is just too fine
Pre-ex-girlfriend, leaving me behind

You might say she's everything
Just before everything goes wrong
She's sunshine and lightning
She pulls at my heartstrings
She's stunning and then she's gone
The intellect that girl has
She's saying death to false jazz
Like kryptonite to Superman
She's here to break my heart again
Da na na na na na na na na

Watch her on the floor tonight
Feel the crush she will incite
Spark of hope she will ignite
A beautiful sight
Softer than the lightest snows
Watch her as the moment slows
In my face the door will close
And there she goes

Guy: Oh, um, hi...
Girl: Hi.
Guy: I, um... look, I was across the room,
Girl: Uh-huh.
Guy: And then I looked over, and I saw you...
Girl: Yeah...?
Guy: And, um, I was wondering if...
Girl: Uh-huh...
Guy: Maybe you wanna do... uh... go do something?
Girl: Umm... no.

Chorus:
Pre-ex-girlfriend, that girl is just too fine
Pre-ex-girlfriend, leaving me behind

- Pre-Ex-Girlfriend, Five Iron Frenzy

Time

2008-05-12T19:46:00.000-07:00

I watch the hands on the face of the watch whirl by like the people around me. I meet some, know none. A whirlwind of event and activity that I can barely catch my breath as I am sucked along. I don't know or comprehend my purpose and function in this place. I blink for a moment and everyone is gone. A constant shift of movement and time. I barely notice.

The passage of time becomes more like a dream and less like reality with every passing second. I no longer feel the presence of those around me. I no longer feel the passage of time. I breath and a year is gone and that time has passed out of my hands, beyond my control. I wonder. Where has it gone? What has happened? Who have I met? How many have I forgotten? How many have forgotten me?

I weep for the loss. Not my losses. But the losses for all humanity. The loss of time. The loss of life.

I continue to breath. And the breath is taken from me. And the hands keep spinning. Now, unreadable.

Then the stroke of a note. I sit and listen. Ignoring the swaying pendulum. I allow the music to wash over me and take me. That is what my life is now. I let the melody fill me, and, suddenly, I am outside time. I am free from the passing. I can smile again. I can laugh. Soon, others will join me. Leaving the stream of time. The whirlwind. The chaos.

For peace. For serenity.

Rebirth

2008-05-10T01:53:00.000-07:00

The wrinkled and patched fur mass sat, thrown across the large worn chair. With a groan the weathered monster lurches forward to peer at a tarnished metal plate on a large table strewn with bones and other inedible scraps. Slowly scratching his round belly with his dulled claws the monster slowly climbs to his feet, steadying himself upon the table, bending under his weight.

For a moment, the early shafts of morning sunlight catch the creature, creating an epic visage of a once fierce and strong being. A proud head halo'd in light revealing gleaming fangs, flashing red eyes, and a proud stature. But then the light passes, revealing the decrepit and bent monster with chipped fangs, a hunched posture, and empty eyes hidden behind a large mat of grey hair that is patched over his unkempt form.

As the ancient and venerable monster limps forward, he comes upon the splintered remains of the wooden door that once stood guard over the homestead. Staring around, he notes the state of dereliction that the home has fallen under. Everything covered in grime and worn and broke. A state of decay that matches the appearance of the ancient being.

A light breeze pushes against the monsters hair and cheek as he gazes to the east and the rising sun; he slowly hefts a large, gnarled staff from the wall and begins a slow walk towards the new day.

Just Cuz

2008-05-03T22:27:00.001-07:00

"Now give me back my wallet."
"Which one is it?"
"It's the one that says bad mother fucker on it."

A New Dawn

2008-05-02T02:56:00.000-07:00

I am Iron Man.

I saw it. I enjoyed it. I want more.

A great start for Marvel's new production company.

It had its holes, mostly due to lack of clarity from the comic itself, but these were few, far between, and not bothersome. To me.

I have also heard rumblings from the self-proclaimed "non-fans of the comic book/superhero genre" that they personally enjoyed this film. Take that for what it's worth.

Which is obviously very little.

See it. Stay through the credits. Yes, it's necessary. No, it's not a zombie monkey.

Have fun.

Lost in Chinatown

2008-04-30T22:47:00.000-07:00

"A man once told me that you step out of your door in the morning, and you are already in trouble. The only question is are you on top of that trouble or not?"
Easy Rawlins, Devil in a Blue Dress

A world of moral ambiguity, a stark cynicism, and the deadly femme fatale. It is a journey from a naivety or avoidance of the real world to the pit of all that is wrong with it.

Watching Chinatown was an experience. Having watched Devil in a Blue Dress recently, I was not entirely prepared for the experience. While both are neo-noir, the latter provides a generic displacement, providing something that is not entirely standard to the genre. Namely among these, was a semi-happy ending with a rather optimistic character who seems to have enjoyed the ride of the story to the point where he becomes a private investigator at the end. If you've seen Chinatown, this is where you snicker at the thought of me watching that before watching the former. It was a completely different kind of ride, following Jake Gittes (Jack Nicholson), on his journey, he goes from happily ignorant in Los Angeles back to a cynical nihilism in Chinatown, finally walking away from everything realizing he has no power to change anything.

I think that was the biggest switch between the two. You have Easy, who maintains a modicum of power and eventually uses that to arrive at the end successful, while Jake is continuously losing the power he had throughout the movie, which is again reflected in the visual style of the film as it progresses, slowly sliding into classic film noir lighting by the end (please forgive me I just wrote a paper on this, so I may seem a little blegh).

Onward and upward, good movie, watch it. Erm, for both.

La Jetée

2008-04-23T23:59:00.000-07:00

The end of the world, the end of humanity, a war, a virus, twelve monkeys, and an airport. Tell me what these all have in common.

Watching Twelve Monkeys was kind of a trip. A trip that I was prepared for though, thanks to La Jetée. If you are the fan of Twelve Monkeys, I recommend that you take the time to watch the short film it is based on. The connections are interesting, and gave me a unique view going into watching Mr. Gilliam's reproduction.

To be honest though, I felt more mentally unstable at the end of Apocalypse Now. Not that it's a contest. Though, it could be a contest.

The End.

Comic Review 4/16/08

2008-04-16T14:17:00.000-07:00

Here we are again folks, sit back and enjoy. Beware of SPOILERS, I won't be held responsible for anything I might give away, so if you're worried and want to read a series, avoid the review.

Captain America #37

This issue was the first issue so far where there wasn't substantial Bucky action. Be that as it may, still pretty good. It was more of a filler on what's going on with the Red Skull, his pal Luken, and the senator guy. Overall, it drops major hints that the Steve Rogers that Sharon Carter finds in the Red Skull's base may not be what he appears. Well, duh. I thought, after the entirety of Marvel's confirmation of death, that Steve must really still be alive! Ultimately, this issue seemed kinda filler-ish. With people like the falcon and Mr. Barton stopping by. Though all hints to the Falcon sticking around; The former Hawkeye's appearance seemed more along the lines of "hey look at me!" as he tells Bucky he better not tarnish the shield. For those unaware, Clint Barton, the other favorite to take up the shield post-Rogers, is currently running around with the New Avengers and making out with Echo, after refusing Tony's proposal for him to take up the shield. Overall, the current storyline is very interesting, and similar to the Fantastic Four, outside of the current Secret Invasion crossover. As for the art, it's hit and miss for me. I have this problem where everyone looks like they are gaining weight, due to the facial detail mostly. Whatever, I'll run with it.

Rating: 3 (-5 to 5 scale)

X-Factor #30

More Arcade goodness. I was really looking forward to seeing more of Arcade's classic shenanigans. Unfortunately, Arcade had to bug out fast as the X-Factor quickly tore through his happy games, but it's not over yet. With possibilities of massive destruction on the horizon and some unresolved issues (Siren being pregnant, unbeknownst to Madrox), the next few issues should be a blast. X-Factor is still one of the X comics that I'm still consistently digging. So if you want to stick your toe in that universe, go for it. As for the art, it's generic and reminds me of Captain America (so, obviously, see my comments on that art). I think that's all for now.

Rating: 2.5

BND: The Amazing Spider-man #556
(They seemingly either forgot my issue for this week 557, or it got stalled)

First comment, man, I love Bachalo's art. More amazingness in every frame. There's some great frames in here with weird mayan cultists and strange deities. Ultimately, his attention to detail makes this a fun read, even if it weren't a great story arc, which it is! This was a good match for story and artist. Wells' current story is going great, even if Wolverine bugged out after last issue, Spidey by himself is still always entertaining. As for this new forensics chick that seems to be a Peter Parker (and a Spider-man) fan, I hope they develop a relationship. It'd be better than doing something with Jackpot, the Mary Jane superhero. Plus she's an interesting character all-around. More or less, this is probably my favorite arc so far in BND, not just because of the art either. Really, Brand New Day has been good. I know many people will never give it a chance, and that's sad really because this new status quo has the potential and is breathing new life into the Spider we all know and love. Maybe the execution of change wasn't ideal, but the result is good. That's my opinion, and I'm sticking to it.

Rating: 3.5

Fantastic Four #556
(Hey! That's two #556's this week that came out last week!)

Art, colors, story and all, If you are not reading this and find the FF even mildly amusing, then you're dumb. Get this book. This story, that conveniently ignores the rest of the current Marvel Universe (similar to Astonishing X-men), is a huge interest that I don't want to spoil, so I won't. Just know that it's awesome, and quite possibly my favorite title right now.

Rating: 4.25

A Little Disfunction to Brighten Your Day

2008-04-15T19:45:00.000-07:00

With a title like Little Miss Sunshine, I have to be honest, I was expecting something a little more...er, normal? happy? something. Still trying to figure that one out. With the abnormal range of odd characters, it goes from the strange to the sacrilegious at times providing a movie that progresses from the depressing to the outrageous. In the end, it is the only movie where I couldn't help but cringe, smile, and feel truly happy by the end.

This is going to be short blog today, I just wanted to say that this movie was both story-wise and visually something...yea, something. Still deciding what that something is.

Recommendation: See it.

Next Time: Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn and Army of Darkness

A Matter of Storytelling

2008-04-10T01:56:00.000-07:00

Well, it is currently 1:57 am, and my head is beginning to swim. My eyes are finding it harder to focus, but I felt it necessary to share on my experience and trials of storytelling. In this manner, today's quest of storytelling was to outline my script for my screenwriting class. Altogether, not a difficult feat, especially if I had started it when it was assigned last Thursday. Now, don't get me wrong, I have been panning out story elements and characters in my head the entire time. The only thing was I had never actually gotten around to doing the outlining yet. So in typical fashion, I wake up yesterday morning at about 11:00 am. Realizing that I have to outline as much as I can of my feature, I begin typing right away. My clock reads 2:00 am now, meaning I have been done with said outline for seven minutes now. I guess the interesting part of this story is what happened between those two times and what kind of product I have to show for it.

Well, I remember spending some time chatting. I did some of that. I showered. I went to Target (needed caffeine and sugar and to return a movie to Blockbuster next door). I even had lunch at the cafeteria. SO, I suppose you could say that I took two hours off of work. But, for the majority of the rest of that time I was struggling with writer's block, TV, internet, and other distractions trying to spew out this daunting task. Well, I did it. And as you can tell from this post, I am incoherent and tired. As such, I have decided not to share this rough draft of my outline because the writing probably isn't much better, if not worse, than what you are reading here.

Now that I think about it, I'm not sure why I am posting here. It is now 2:05 am and I am very tired and have my screenwriting class at 10 am. But I think I just wanted to take a moment to ponder the wonders of storytelling and the unique power of creation that you feel when you weave the tales and happenings of unique characters you have created. How it even takes on a life of its own. I know that while my finished product follows the vague ideas I had about the story originally, it took on a life of its own and told me some of its stories itself. It's an amazing thing to see a story take control like that and follow it's own flow.

Unfortunately, I get the feeling that when I reread it in the morning, the parts that the "story took over" or perhaps even the ones I wrote consciously will all look like crap. Oh well, I just want to sleep for now, and I can worry about the specifics later. Goodnight.

Literally lost in the literary world of literature

2008-04-07T19:52:00.000-07:00

Language is a funny thing. Not in the humorous, witty sort of way but in an odd sort of way. Humans around the world all speak unique languages to their own culture, sometimes even becoming capable in more than one. Now, since I am not a renowned world traveler, I have not accustomed myself to the many languages of the world beyond a few simple phrases of a few of the simpler languages. Normally, this does not hinder, in any way, my life; that is, until I have decided to start expanding my literary knowledge. Looking to Russian fiction, I decided to begin my journey. Unfortunately, I was not fully prepared for the journey that would await me. I thought, oh this is simple. I go to the library/bookstore/friend's-bookshelf/amazon.com, and I simply pick-up the title I wanted to read. This is easier said than done.

Now, to be honest, the matter of translation had not even entered my mind when I first began my quest for Tolstoy's War and Peace. A quick warning from my friend to do some research first opened me up to a world I was not prepared for. Really, i should have been ready for this. I do not know what would have led me to believe that Tolstoy would have had the courtesy to translate his book into English. After all, I read that he already wrote it in a combination of Russian and French. That's more linguistic knowledge than I have to start with. So on and so forth, I found a translation that I thought sounded respectable enough. My ultimate goal was to simply find a translation that accurately reflected Tolstoy's literary style and story. Not to much to ask, I'd think. I finally settled for a newer translation by some already respected and experienced translators of Tolstoy, Richard Pevear and Larissa Volokhonsky. Well, as luck would have it, as I walked around our library, nearly lost among the huge bookshelves, I found Tolstoy's novels. As luck would not have it, they did not have the translation I wanted (due to it being a newer translation). But as my luck returned, I found a copy of Anna Karenina by the nice translators I was searching for. Well, needless to say, by this point I was ready to just pick up anything and leave. I was tired of having to put in so much time and effort for a book I still felt unsure about reading. So, I bit the bullet and picked up what was there.

Now, as the behemoth tome sits on top of my Buffy the Vampire Slayer box set, I contemplate the nature of language and literature. How does one have the audacity to take it upon oneself to translate a work. I have written lots of nonsense before: blogs, short stories, poetry, and film scripts. Each thing I write is a little bit of myself. It contains my emotions, thoughts, and feelings, and I do not know if I could ever trust anyone to try and translate these things into another language unless it was me. A piece of writing is more than a collection of words, it is a piece of the author's soul. So, as I begin my reading venture I let those thoughts settle over me as I try to imagine what Tolstoy would have said about the translations of his work. Maybe he would disagree with me. Oh well, all I know is that this will have to suffice for my vague attempt at trying to read Tolstoy's story, that is until the day I learn Russian and French. That will be another two weeks at least.

Comic Review 4/02/08

2008-04-02T16:04:00.000-07:00

So, I know I skipped a couple of weeks, but I have been busy with spring break and the like. Additionally, I didn't feel like reviewing the few times I did post. So, onward and upward. Titles this week are ASM, Cable, Young X-men, and Secret Invasion. As usual beware of SPOILERS. I won't be held responsible for the ruination of plot elements.

The Amazing Spider-man #555:
My favorite Brand New Day comic so far, by far. Chris Bachalo and Wells began their month long run today and it met my expectations and the art even surpassed. I was first pleasantly surprised by the ASM comic recognizing that Spidey is in fact a member of the New Avengers. This first comic is actually a pseudo team up with Spidey and Wolverine. Seeing as they are two very different people with two very different fighting styles, it was an enjoying series of action and banter. Bachalo's art is great as always, with an amazing inclusion of detail. The use of heavy snow also allows for the colorer to work his magic showing off great skill and impact with Wolverine and Spidey standing out splendidly in the frames. As for the story, I like where this arc is going with chances of more team-up. The only down-side is that I feel that these series are building up on each other two much and not resolving anything. In another month we will have four or so simultaneous stories going on around Spider-man. That's got me worried. Anyways, overall great stuff, can't wait to see where this mini-arc goes.

Rating: 3.5 (-5 to 5 scale)

Cable #2:
Still soooo aggravating. This title has so much potential as the major spawn of Messiah CompleX. This has the Mutant Messiah and it's the most boring thing I've read ever! I want so much to happen, anything to happen. But with Bishop's arrival in the last ish, this one offered barely anything more. Oh, now Bishop and Cable are fighting. Oh and here's how Bishop survived (nothing too exciting/believable), and Cable can no longer time travel. Woo. Come on guys, get on the ball. Do something with the baby! As for the art, get a new artist. I swear, it is painful looking at each of his frames. It's an attempt at photorealistic-ish art. I greatly dislike it, but always feel free to judge for yourself.

Rating: 0

Young X-men #1:
It's got promise. Not much happened to be honest. It's the typical launch comic for the x-men, the traditional "gathering of the team," if you will. I'll reserve any major judgement for now. They have some of my favorite new x-men carrying over (Dust and Blindfold) with some extras. Interestingly, this title feels and is told like this is the real "X-men" title. If you are looking for the good ol', traditional x-men headed by Xavier, come to this title for a group of youngin's taking up the banner, mentored by Cyclops. There first adversaries are introduced as the new brotherhood. For those familiar with the original New Mutants, er i think it's original New Mutants, you may have fun recognizing the "evil ones" as Cannonball, Sunspot, Moonstar, and Magma. A lot of people are already condemning this title, which is a pity. They are doing this mainly because they didn't see the necessity to create this new title and abolish the previous, New X-men. Additionally, Marvel is marketing this as a team of killers, similar to X-force. I think that's a mistake, and I also don't think that's how it is actually going to be. Anyways, I can also understand them wanting to change from New to Young X-men. The characters aren't really new anymore. They all are experienced fighters, seemingly, whether as previously part of the New X-men or as part of a solo career in crime. It'll be interesting. In hopes of seeing it go good places.

Rating: 2.5

Secret Invasion #1:
Wooo, this won't be a laid back event. Already there has been so much to happen. Mainly, the springing of the the proverbial "trap." We've had shield shut down, and massive doubles unleashed on the world. Already I can see a few folks who are definitely and maybe/probably nots (yet not for sure). These are Tony (suit was virus infected), Mr. Fantastic (skrull blaster to the head currently), and that other shield lady who's name I'm forgetting. People who are? Hank Pym and Dugan (there was a skrull cruiser that also unleashed all the retro heroes as well, that is still a matter of debate). Overall, great starter. It was definitely a jump directly into the fray. As for the art, I'm a huge Yu fan since I saw his stuff on the New Avengers. I think it'll work great for this title. I'm really looking forward to what Bendis and Yu do for the next seven ish's.

Rating: 4

That's all for this Wednesday. See ya'll later.

The Coming Shadow

2008-03-31T18:31:00.000-07:00

"London, that great cesspool into which all the loungers and idlers of the Empire are irresistibly drained."
-A Study in Scarlet by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Detective William Doyle sat in the darkness of his office smoking his pipe. The low rumble of the trolley could be heard outside as the great steam behemoth trundled by. Doyle got up from his large chair and wandered over to the window that opened to the street. With a deep sigh, he pulled his coat off the hanger and wrapped himself up. Opening up the creaking, oak door, Doyle started to stroll down Baker’s Street, noting as he went the dark clouds encroaching on the midnight sky and moon. He continued his way down Baker’s Street, passing an empty trolley and a beaten steam-coach. With a deep sigh he veered off of Baker’s Street into a dark, narrow alley. Without even gazing up, he walked determinably through to the other end. When he emerged he found himself suddenly in a brightly lit street. The lanterns of this street were endlessly glowing due to the consistent stream of steam emerging from the sewer plates along the street. The aristocrats do like their decadent ways. Doyle quietly mutters to himself as he hurries across the street and ducks into another alley. He is now so engrossed in his trek that he barely notices the figure standing at the exit to the alley. He stops up short noticing the vague silhouette from the faint moonlight. Holding his breath for a moment, he notices the odd shape of the silhouette, and letting his breath out, catches a heavy scent of decay.

“And here I thought I would have to come and search for you,” stated Doyle.

An unearthly, greasy voice drifts back in return with a halted laugh, “herher, Ever the witty gentleman, eh? Yes, yes, no need to worry. I am here and you are here. And now I let you know, that you will die.”

“That is very unfortunate. I was growing ever so fond of our meetings.”

The figure started stepping forward with this, catching some of the light from the previous street. The streams of light revealed what Doyle had anticipated, the apparent body of a man, dressed in a gentleman’s suit crowned with a top hat. Of course the human dress was the only thing human about him. As more light shifted on to him, the features of his face were shown to reveal that comparable to a squid. A Cthulhu-nne, descendent of the elder, pagan gods. Many of his kind lived among the content and ignorant British society, all Queen and country easily ignoring the existence of the many creatures that walked its streets at night. That was why Doyle existed. That was his job, to police those who cannot be policed by the ordinary means.

"I'm brainsick. I can't have a relationship with him!"

2008-03-27T09:33:00.000-07:00

"Not during the day... but you could ask him for coffee some night. It's the non-relationship drink of choice. It's not a date, it's a caffeinated beverage. Okay, sure, it's hot and bitter, like a relationship that way, but..."
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Buffy and Willow

Ah yes, the dual purpose post. It's about coffee and vampires! I do very much like coffee, and I am not a huge fan of vampires. So, this should be interesting.

I mean don't get me wrong. They are interesting to read about, but, on any given night, I would rather not stumble across one. This aside, watching a television show about them is rather entertaining. This is a surprisingly intriguing show that may possibly now rank in my top two, possibly even my top one. Campy at times, entertaining always, I have never watched a show that consistently makes me like it more every episode, except maybe Firefly. This is probably a sign that I like Mr. Whedon's writing, since I have not watched or read something of his yet that I have not liked. Anyways, back on topic. Do you think that if one cannot find a girl that meets his standards that one should lower his standards? Sorry for the random change-up here, that is why the quote was at the beginning, remember? Dual purpose.

I mean, I like coffee. Coffee is good. I am sad that I cannot drink coffee every day ( we cannot have coffee makers in our dorm rooms). I mean, in the end, this means that when I do get coffee it is either with my friend or when I ask a girl out to coffee. Now, I do not know when became this, but the opening quote is very much true. You can ask a girl out to coffee and have it be completely innocuous. I have done it many times in my time. As a friend and in hopes of pursuing more. I have found that it works great as friends, but most people are not interested in more. Maybe they would rather someone be more straight forward to begin with instead of beating around the bush and going to coffee.

Now, vampires do not beat around the bush. The just go for the neck every time. They have no second guesses about it, except if they have a soul. Then apparently that makes them hot, mysterious, dark, and emo, and the girls apparently really dig that. I suppose I could learn from him, except I would rather not be made into a vampire with a soul. Just does not sound like fun. Plus, there is always the chance that the slayer would slay me before I could woo her with my tortured soul act. Mayhaps these things only happen on television shows.

I mean, people goto highschool, and people go out to coffee in real life. So, maybe, through this thought process, vampires and slayers are real too. Though, in the end, I do not think I would want them to exist. I am already afraid of the dark enough as it is.

Well, I guess I will give up on it all for now and learn just to be happy with an incredibly campy/fun television show. Who needs girls anyways? Maybe I should just follow Xander's example:

"I'm just gonna go home, lie down, and listen to country music. The music of pain."
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Xander

"Not being able to speak is not the same as not speaking...."

2008-03-19T10:14:00.000-07:00

"You seem as if you like to talk. I like to let people talk who like to talk. It makes it easier to find out how full of shit they are."
"What the hell did you just say?"

Ever notice how in any one gathering of two or more people those participants are expected to participate in a verbal manner? This continues to the point that if everyone fails to be talking at a certain moment in time, people become uncomfortable with silence and start vomiting out random exclamations to jump start the conversation again. Now maybe it is just me, but I enjoy that silence. I would much rather walk quietly and think than chat about essentially nothing. And as a second point, as Mr. Chan puts it, "I like to let people talk who like to talk." I just find it annoying when I am expected to talk as well. If I ever have something to say know for sure that I will say it. I like making my points heard, but I also like hearing other's points or people arrive at a conclusion without my input or influence.

The reason for this post, ultimately, is that last night I got the chance to hang out with a friend and two other people that I enjoy hanging out with but have not in awhile. We went to a park where we sat around and people were talking. Now about halfway through the evening, my friend made a comment about "upping my word count." I found this annoying at the moment for I was quite content to sit there and listen and actually found this as a great way of catching up with the two I had not seen in a few months. Because honestly, if I am talking, how am I supposed to hear what they have to say. I know what is going on in my life, I don't need a review, and they never inquired into it.

I guess my ultimate point is I don't think that people should have to talk if they do not want to. Do not go and assume that just because someone is not participating in a discussion that there is something wrong (though feel free to inquire). Most of the time I am thinking about what you are saying...or women. Either way, it is not a matter of not talking because of some inner problem or that I am not enjoying your company. On the contrary, it probably means I am really comfortable hanging out with you. Anyways, that is my "this, that, and the other" for today.

"You didn't slay the dragon?"

2008-03-15T12:58:00.000-07:00

"It's on my todo list!"

Now, I'll start off by saying I'm not a huge believer in to do lists. So logically, I don't normally keep them and if I do happen to write one up I don't normally stay by it. But the internet has introduced, through it's arcane magiks, a twisted device, with which, the arduous task of "todo making" is made almost enjoyable. Ironically, it is called "Things."

Through a twist of fate and vague interest, I downloaded this demonically bound bunch of code and began a quest into a dark realm, that I do not currently know if I will return from yet. This dark machine drew me in and made the formerly painful task of scheduling and goal making into a "fun task."

So far, I have written upon its archaic tablets the elements of my spring break homework, a few long term goals that have no definite time frame, and a recurring, daily reminder to post in this blog (much to the chagrin of its two readers). This now enjoyable task acts as a looming shadow and replacement parent to tell me to do my work back at school. Ultimately, I do see this soul consuming "Thing" as a "beneficial" and "fun" pass time that has the potential to make me a more "productive" member of society. That is unless I start using it to schedule video game time and not my actual work. Quite a possible outcome.

So for better or worse, I am now organizing the facets of my life, tagging them, prioritizing them, dating them, setting parental-esque reminders, and assigning people to bother about them. Yes, bother them about it. If you are reading this be happy because it probably means you are one of the people I am going to be bothering, especially for my long-term projects, but you really don't have to worry about that yet, I'm to busy to start much work on it yet. You like that run on sentence? I do. The End.

Non nobis, Domine, Non nobis...

2008-03-13T12:00:00.000-07:00

sed nomine tuo da gloriam.

Henry V, a great monarch and vicious leader? I had the opportunity to view Branaugh's rendition of Shakespeare's Henry V after (kind of) reading (a portion of) the play. It was not my favorite of William's plays, but neither was it my least favorite. Disregarding the actual history of the matter, I found this an interesting example of a revered monarch, yet at the same time, it was not uncommon.

It took me awhile to come to terms with how such a vicious leader (even within the confines of Shakespeare's vision) could be such a revered King by his people. Mind you, he fought against odds and ultimately took France, but he did so ruthlessly. He was a man, that in fiction, threatened murder and rape to a French city if they did not surrender and called for all his men to execute all of their french prisoners at the slightest upset. Does this mean that he should not have been revered? In Shakespeare's story I think, if I were English or French, I would have had to respect a man who commanded such power, but it would have been through fear not through compassion. Not only did he prove a ruthless adversary, but had a very solid idea of "justice." He even hangs his friend (with tears in his eyes in the movie rendition, but not batting an eyelash in the actual play) for looting a single piece during the war. He shows no quarter to anybody who does not hear his demands, friends or otherwise.

When I thought on his qualities and position more, I thought of King David. Maybe it is simply a fact of all warrior Kings that they demand that kind of reverence, but I still had a hard time realizing what about their qualities draws out people's respect. Why do I find them so intriguing? I do not know whether it is the fear they inspire or the loyal followers they gather about themselves. Whatever it is, it demands a certain respect of me, whether I ever agreed with their actions or ever personally knew them.

The latin that opened up this post are lyrics from a song, that was included in the film after King Henry V has led his army to victory after the Battle of Agincourt. I found them intriguing since they expand on Henry's character in the play that attributes their victories to God being on their side. Whether this is true or not is not for me to decide, but I cannot help but think of Bob Dylan's With God on Our Side that I heard recently performed. Yet no matter all the hell they endured, the ten thousand French that they slaughtered or the twenty-nine men they lost (by Shakespeare's slightly skewed counting) they all still manage to belt out the grandiose latin choral production...

Not to us, O Lord, Not to us,
But to thy name let glory be given

"It's not the years, it's the mileage"

2008-03-12T08:25:00.000-07:00

In favor of getting a paper done you will not be seeing the regularly scheduled programming today. Please don't cry.

I actually wrote a small blog, decided to scrap it and...*holds up pretty picture from the intrawebs and runs away*

Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes

2008-03-08T00:48:00.000-08:00

"Who Watches the Watchmen"

Can one truly appreciate the ramifications of one's actions in the grand scheme of every micro and macro event that takes place in the concept of being? Does morality of a single person hold bearing for an action that will ultimately hold greater good on a larger scale? A man has the option to sacrifice a contextual small number of people and save a world in the process, does this demi-god have the right to do so? Can we find that it is the responsibility of the rest of the rest of the "menial" parts of society to aggregate these gods, or is it so beyond them that no one can. Who can truly control these gods? Who watches the watchmen?

These questions are just a poor representation of the deep thoughts that have been etched across my mind upon the completion of my reading. They are meaningless to anyone outside of those who know of what I'm writing, and they are shallow questions that only truly pertain directly to the story. But the thoughts that now pervade my mind inspired by this fantastical vision frighten me. Of course, it's a child's nightmare, and I should not be afraid. But the truth is that this story, these people have opened up my mind to the possibilities, the motivations, the thoughts, the emotions that exist there. It is an overwhelming experience that I cannot fully put into words at this point. All I know is that I feel the compulsion to write, if only to simply state that I do not understand my thoughts, and that my thoughts cannot be put in writing.

Comic Reviews 3-05-08

2008-03-05T22:56:00.000-08:00

I was on the forums for Champions Online today when I came across a weekly comic review thread. I decided since I never post anything here anymore then I would post something that, in theory, I would be posting regularly. For the sake of this post I will add a rating -5 to 5 scale (-5 being hate, 0 being meh, and 5 being SWEET!), inspired by my friend's thoughts on the Netflix rating system.

Okay, first off here is what I got today: ASM, Uncanny X-men, X-force, Cable, and the free Secret Invasion: Saga comic.

My Thoughts:

Uncanny threw in some info that I wasn't aware of on the whole Kitty Pryde thing. I hadn't read the last arc of Astonishing X-men so this revelation seemed weird. Additionally, the whole retro in San Francisco is interesting but I'm really not sure of the purpose of this story, especially post Messiah CompleX. For Now I'm enjoying it, especially Choi as the artist. Not my usual cup of tea, but with him and Oback on colors, the art seems to be fitting the current feel of the story.

Rating: 2 (I'll keep an interested eye on it)

I was really looking forward to Cable post-Messiah CompleX. So, please don't get offended if I say I was sorely disappointed. What do I get in this premier issue? Absolutely nothing. The art, in my opinion, really grinds on my nerves. Just not a fan of the style. Additionally, since is basically the continuing story of the messiah child, I expected more action than ***SPOILER ALERT****** bishop showing up again ***SPOILER ENDING***. Urgh, hopefully something happens to take advatage of the potential of this series.

Rating: 0 (That's my thoughts on this comic, but I have hopes that the comic will make it's way to a 5 soon enough)

X-force is something I'm still testing out. This is an interesting spin for me. Having never read any of the prior x-force runs, I find this a pretty dark and violent and generally graphic comic. But overall, I have to say I'm enjoying it. It's something I don't think I'm buying for story content though. Basically throwing together the best mutant trackers, originally in Messiah CompleX: Wolverine, Warpath, X-23, Caliban, and Rahne they are assembled to hunt Cable and the baby. Post-Messiah CompleX it's back to hunting Purifier leaders with some minor twists and the like. The team in the comic is Wolverine, Warpath, and X-23 with Rahne possibly on the ropes. It's odd to see a character with less emotion than Wolverine, but X-23 aka "Laura" still manages to be a very interesting character. I'll rate this as another comic with potential. I find the artist, Clayton Crain also has a fitting style for the comic. Which, like Cable and Uncanny, are what I consider drastic direction changes from standard comic art fair. Anyways, I'll keep an eye on this one as well.

Addendum to original post: I also liked that they didn't pretend that Wolverine was or liked being a leader or that anyone really listened to him. Also, they portray Cyke as an almost Xavier like controller without the morals. An interesting take.

Rating: 3

I know a lot of people hate spidey now and will never touch another spidey comic again, that's fine you're welcome to your opinion. But the "new status quo" in Brand New Day really isn't that bad in my opinion, though I am a newer reader (since civil war, but I have read some of the old, old essentials). Basically, I like the consistent releases and the interesting side characters and villains. It's a refreshing break from other comics, and a huge jump up from the doldrums that Spidey had been rotting in during Back in Black and One More Day. I'm working on independent evaluations of each creative team on ASM now, but have to wait until I've seen them all. Anyways, like I said I think this has major potential, Marvel just has to let people forget the events of OMD to allow them to fully enjoy BND.

Rating: 2.5 (I can do halves if I like, this is my blog)

My favorite comic of the week was the free one, to be honest. My knowledge of skrulls, was sketchy at best. Knowing that they were shapeshifters and the like. This free comic basically shared a concise summary of all skrull storylines since the beginning under the guise of Stark doing research in light of the looming Secret Invasion. It includes classic artwork and newer stuffs from these storylines as well. Overall, I felt that it was interesting and intriguing enough for me, who had no previous knowledge, with the added bonus of it being free. So, good stuffs.

Rating: N/A

So those are my thoughts, that I posted. Basically, for the ratings, anything 2+ is decent comic fair. A 5 would have to be something spectacular. Anyways, I think that about raps it up. Thanks for tuning in. Feel free to reply with your own thoughts as well if you disagree or have more to add.

Please, if I may have your attention for a moment.

2007-11-06T12:33:00.000-08:00

"Vanity of vanities; all is vanity." Ecclesiastes 1:2 (KJV)

How fitting that in a meaningless and constantly changing world that the some of the wisest words ever written were written hundreds of years ago in a world that knew more meaning than the existence we have chosen for ourselves today. And how fitting is it that I now find myself with the confidence to make a move in a world that would choose the meaningless flash and glamor of this nonsense than have something of meaning be center to their life.

This all has multiple meanings, ultimately, for the reader and may not match with my own, but nevertheless one will find something of importance in this passage whether they had previously realized it or not. Turn on the television and think about the way we are told "life is supposed to be." One will find that beyond the fact that the world is not only not full of perfect, physical specimans of humanity, but that my emotional spectrum and meaning for life has more depth than that of a puddle after a "rain" in southern California.

There is more than the single glance, the quick wave, or any of the other petty ways human's seek to interact with each other. There is meaning and depth to life when people are willing to make the leap. So make the leap, stop guarding yourself, and be yourself for one moment, and you might be surprised.

Man is a Social Animal

2007-08-26T17:00:00.000-07:00

A brief digression and a brief hiatus and here I am a few months later enlightening you as to my current experiences in college. A most interesting social atmosphere-so far reminiscent of high school minus parent regulation. Perhaps it is the fact that I am a simple freshman among many of the people I disliked in high school who are doing things they tried and failed to do in high school. For instance, partying is a prime example. Every night so far there has been a minimum of two parties each night. I attended one on the first night but was repulsed by the fact that I don't drink and it is physically impossible to hold a conversation there. Past that wonderful experience I did not return out, though I did consider it when an attractive girl from next door offered to stop by if she went out to one. Let it be said she never did stop by and was not there when I stopped by later. Anyway, aside from my pathetic socializing attempts among my neighbors and the wannabe partiers, I have made myself a social animal, making myself acquanted with several people who do have seemed to retain some matter of sophistication among them.

At this point I would like the reader to be aware that I am aware of how condescending I do come across in this discourse, and I am not sorry for it.

To continue onward, I seem to be the only person with a shred of eagerness to start my actual classes. The rest seem to be here to spend 40,000 dollars (not near nor comprable to actual pricing) for simply going to parties. I do not understand, and at this point, do not care to.

My rambling will soon come to an end as I figure my plans for dinner. Until then, wish me luck as I work in this new stage of academia and social barbarism.